Jack D'Andrea

i really hate being accused of lollygaggin’ and dillydallyin’, when it is blatantly obvious i’m fiddlefartin’ around!

the.

women be having all that forehead and still can’t decide where to eat

the inside of my nose needs a bath

i willy wonka’d the fuck outta my recycling bin yesterday.

i love commercial whipped cream.

brussel sprouts are a top tier vegetable

cross walks are for bitches

my favorite hobby is speeding in school zones.

lets talk about buttered sausage

and maybe one of them pickle spears, yeah that would be real good

and some macaroni salad

a turkey club would be so good right now

@BryanHoch who’s pitching?

If Aaron Judge is allowed to run the bases while carrying a bat, the Yankees will be this postseason’s most intimidating team

REPOST THIS for a chance to win this signed Paul Skenes jersey.

i ripped the passenger side pocket of my cargo shorts.

On Leap Day we’d like to shout out some of nature’s most talented leapers: Frogs, lizards, deer, my mother’s ability to jump to conclusions about my personal life, spiders - just to name a few.

Marcus Stroman and Yankees fans if he has a first bad outing

i’m going southbound on route 100 and the chick in front of me looks like she just stole the declaration of independence

okay where on 7th street? where the crackheads be oh okay