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Literally don’t get me a gift if it’s not tits

Sure it’s dark, but I’ve accepted thatl this is how I’ll probably go out. It’s exhausting living with deep emotional pain that nobody seems to understand, coupled with the bleak banality and hopelessness of continuing to exist on a dying landmass

Too bad life insurance doesn’t issue payouts for suicide or I’d start a deathpool/lottery where whoever correctly guesses when I’ll kill myself receives my payout

If you ever have a sex dream about me, let me know because it’s surprisingly the biggest self confidence boost

How far have we gotten with life extension technology? Because I really need my mom to outlive me

What is the actual cost of happiness?

me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: me: hey

MTV should do a NEXT reboot

MTV’s Next was really just a precursor to the Tinder model of online dating

My favourite thing about being both intuitive and anxious is you never know when to actually listen to your gut.

Apparently the children are the future. Here’s what one of the comrad—children made at my work today.

lolfuckeverything:)

Prolonged eye contact with strangers is literally the closest thing I’ve had to sex in so long someone end me please

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if people are on MDMA or they don’t have rhythm

The fact that I’m trying to decide between obedience training and seeing a pet psychic should tell you everything you need to know about my future parenting style.

Me: H— Vegan: I only eat

Got this bread. Sold this bread.

Pls take me seriously i am ur very powerful boss and i can fire u (if u want me to)

I remember being in high school thinking about how good life is going to be because I’ll never have to answer an email or do math because rockstars have agents, yet here I am answering emails and building budgets for an art institution. No agent, I’m not even a free agent.

I’ve been channeling North West at age 2 while answering emails today and it’s the easiest way to prevent or shutdown unnecessary email threads