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The guy who first found out that babies instinctively hold their breath underwater must have had some serious questions to answer to.

They are outside your house , your last saved anime pic is your reaction

We met at work. Didn’t start dating until she quit. HR can relax. 3 years later we’re married and heading to Disney World for our honeymoon!! Want to sponsor a churro, Lightning Lane, or Mickey pretzel? We’ll toast you in front of the castle. Link below ✨

2004 middle school me learning about Rome: But how could such a developed and rich society collapse so suddenly? 2025 me: Oh...

(Wearing my jedi robe) Guy: Who are you supposed to be? Me: Maybe this will help. *does the hand movement for the force* Guy: Magneto? #xmen #StarWars #Halloween

I don't know how to use the word "hypothetical" in a sentence, but imagine if I could..

Instead of trying to invent a time machine, we should create a time that entices future time machine inventors to come back here and visit

"Punching bags are also hugging bags if you just calm down a little."

Bartender: The usual my man? Me: yes sir bartender: [kisses me on the forehead]

[Me at 30 slipping the DJ a $20] My good sir, would you turn it down a skooch

According to Newtons 3rd law, when you slap that ass, it slaps you back. #facts

Stuff you say to dogs sounds super weird if you say man instead of boy . [crouches down and looks a beagle dead in the eye] " You're a good man"

This is NOT what America is about. America is about *opens history book* uh oh *Frantically starts flipping though pages * uh oh. oh no. no, no, no. uh oh

I'm trying not to say " You guys" anymore. It's not inclusive. You're suppose to say "you all" now. It's a weird point in history where we have to say "y'all" to sound more progressive.

@CryptoLyraa 2300 seattle:[

@Damondyor Help pay off some loads haha

@AnnasGiveaway $2300 Seattle doesn't play haha

@KickWallz 2 hr

$25 to someone who likes this post in the next 3 hours 😳 Comment how old this post is when you see it ⏳