Dave “The Stroke” Wainwright, CPA

#wood Does it get any better?

@BrianCrans33855 Do you link if the opportunity arises?

@captain_rackham They are hot but they definitely rock a bush maybe a landing strip if lucky

Why are girls that like “widespread and phish” the biggest whores on the planet?

@nomar_67 Gary, Where’s the button down from? Sincerely, Captain

White boy got hot #anklecleavage #tjmaxxing

@richardciderbox @litebeerasschug Richard, This was a beauty of a sentence. -Cap’n Rackham

@litebeerasschug Twea also falls under blue collar dudes who have one sided beef with college dudes liquor

Mark Renton’s official hoe liquor list

Ole cap’n is going on week three with no toilet paper. Shit and shower method is still unpatched. Toilet paper is #propaganda

@RufusSeymo85 @DGFKewan Rufus, Use the Antioch method -Cap’n Rackham

@DGFKewan They didn’t have shit

Does this play?

Bro let’s go out this weekend. There’s a crazy event happening. There’ll be a ton of chicks. Let’s just go have fun, and let go a little.

Treasure hit me chest this mornin. Ye know Ole Cap’n Rackham had to set sail for some whaling this afternoon. What a fine voyage it was. #dieforthewhale

Cap’n wasn’t planning on putting bag on your burger madam.

@KyleHall823041 Kyle, Is Hinge the modern day version of a brothel? Askin for a couple scallywags back upon ye vessel. Ye have me gratitude, -Cap’n Rackham

As of last night I’m a #sexhaver again thank you hinge!

I’m a huge cameltoe/hips region appreciator

No grill upon ye quarterdeck, but Cap’n Rackham can prepare one hell of a fine piece of salted beef upon ye iron skillet.

@LightskinDuo Dusty, Has ye yet taken to ye feathered quill and inkwell? Fair winds and following seas, - Cap’n Rackham

The unanimous prov1 of pencils. Kinda makes me want to booze

Hear ye, hear ye, Ye colors have been changed and a new flag flies upon me mast. Good luck findin’ me former vessel. - Cap’n Rackham

@basedgod126 Curvy ain’t she matey

ello luv

@MarvinSacklyAU Are you a middle aged white mom that drives a black bmw suv and doesn’t work a job?

Grocery store tier list

Liked a foid’s story at the ripe hour of 10am this morning. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Marshall’s find. “Tactical black” colorway

Unfortunate time to be in Europe @RufusSeymo85 #TJmaxxing