davekim98

BREAKING: NOT THE SHARPIEST TOOL IN THE SHED! The Sharpie Company DENIES ever making Trump cheap custom pens in response to his deranged, demented diatribe! During a Cabinet meeting on Thursday, President Trump took a lengthy detour to boast about how he personally saved the government thousands of dollars by ditching expensive $1,000 pens and instead getting custom Sharpies for just $5 each. Trump claimed he called “the head of Sharpie” and asked for black pens with the company logo swapped out for his signature and a drawing of the White House added. Trump claimed the executive was so honored that he offered them for free, but Trump insisted on paying $5 per pen because “I want to pay you.” He concluded triumphantly: “For five dollars (could be zero!) but for five dollars I get a much better pen than for $1,000 and I could hand them out and actually they become hot as a pistol.” Er, yeah. Sharpie’s parent company, Newell Brands, immediately shot down the story, with a spokesperson saying “We don’t have any information about the conversation described. We’re proud to be a beloved brand trusted by so many globally.” Once again, Trump wasted valuable time in a Cabinet meeting spinning a tall tale about his supposed brilliance and frugality, only for the company involved to shoot it down as pure fiction moments after the lie left his lips. This is the same president whose war in Iran is costing billions, spiking gas prices, and killing American troops, yet he’s fixated on inventing stories about how he personally saved money on pens. If Trump bragging about a Sharpie deal that the company says never happened feels like peak delusion while the country suffers, like and share.

Startling new images from NASA suggests Donald Trump may only be the 2nd biggest asshole in the universe.

HOLY SHIT! Only 17 years old, yet he destroys Republicans better than any adult could. Every second of this gives me hope.