David Todman

The Independent with a #WagnerGroup exclusive.

Intermittent fasting has been sheer hell. So next year I’m going to try intermittent slowing. #NewYear2022

I guess the last person on Earth will only have themselves to blame.

My father’s death anxiety was so bad he used to pattern match the seams when wrapping Christmas presents.

Noticed quite a few new motion design followers recently. But i only talk shop via @meshmashuk So follow me there if you want ridiculous fake pearls of motion wisdom.

I bet his company hopes James Dyson doesn’t get #COVIDー19. Imagine the power vacuum.

So great that after years of making billions of dollars and sleeping with porn stars while his beautiful wife took care of the kids, something finally went right for Tiger Woods. #LifeAffirming

I’m calling my latest fractious family holiday: Pass-Agg to India. #HappyHolidays

Fact: the term “journalism” comes from the Ancient Greek “lazy journalism” now practised by over 1 million news outlets. nytimes.com/2018/03/16/fas…

@isilitke I’m guessing shoes.

Bit short of cash so started a company making AI crypto drones using deep learning block chain technology. Now worth almost $8billion. #capitalismo

The pecan tart on last night’s @MasterChefUK looked so dry I refer to it as “the atacama dessert”. (I’m here all week) #MasterChef

Why do UK politicians always meet Irish politicians in a tea shop? #hardborder #BrexitShambles

An elderly secretary, wracked with firearms related tinnitus, simply misheard Madison dictate his love for animals and belief in the people’s right to “keep and arm bears”. #RepealThe2nd #2ndAmendment #ArmBears

Amazing news! "The Visible Void" was just selected by ARFF Barcelona // Around International Film Festival via FilmFreeway.com!

According to the OECD the correct collective noun is a “fucktet” of dimwits. apple.news/AyB3-pT4uTuCrP…

Jesus! That @RichardDawkins really thinks he’s God’s gift to atheism.

#Bitcoin and #UmaThurman - 2 fine examples of humans’ ability to wonder at original, ingenious, even beautiful things, before deciding to rape the living shit out of them.

If London was on my analyst’s couch we’d have a serious talk about its crushing death anxiety.

Crikey now the ads can read my mind! I’ve always said that the only way you’ll get me on a cruise is if it contains @RobertSmith from the 1980s.