DECIMAL BRANDS CO.

@OhuruDen Very Impressive. I will be doing Nairobi-Kisumu-Busia-Kampala-Mbarara and back next week. Keep pushing 🫡

1⃣ I have embarked on a road trip around Kenya, the goal is to visit most of the major towns and make content for my YouTube channel. #thread Means of transport: A 2012 honda fit Accommodation: The same 2012 honda fit (mostly) Distance: Apx 3000 Kms Let's go.

His name is Money Bior, the only politician in Kaspul who campaigns with a menu instead of a manifesto. For weeks, he has been feeding voters like they are guests in a cooking show. The villagers enjoyed a three course meal from chefs imported from a Nairobi 5-star hotel, food was so hot and delicious that even the village mutinas lined up with voter IDs. And for those who preferred liquid development, mheshimiwa opened a whole bar on his bill. People were drinking like they were trying to irrigate their intestines. For those men whose wives have been rationing the food that faces the earth at home, mhesh went out of his way & brought yellow yellow damsels from Homabay town. These ladies came glowing like a new WiFi routers, distributing full network to the hungry men. All this at the small price of a vote. Then voting day arrived. Mheshimiwa’s team decided to motivate citizens with Ksh 1,000,,, money that disappeared faster than promises in a manifesto. The plan was simple, feed them, water them, tempt them, pay them,,, then win by a landslide. When results came in, mheshimiwa saw dust, smoke, fog and heartbreak all combined. He didn’t even come third,, he came a distant fourth, collecting a humble 526 votes, including the ones from his chefs, his bouncers, and maybe two Homabay damsels out of pity. The humiliation embraced him like a wet bedsheet. Out of pure anger and the need to teach these professional money eaters a lesson,,, mhesh called for a Thanksgiving ceremony at his mansion. People arrived smiling, expecting chicken, pilau, and maybe round two of coastal ladies. But immediately they stepped in, the bouncer closed the gate with the confidence of Gachagua, then started distributing blows of national importance. The beating was thorough, some received uppercuts that reset their M-Pesa PINs, others got “flying kick ndira” that deconstructed their dental formula. As we speak, several victims are in Kaspul District Hospital sipping glucose water through their veins like Jaba juice. The bouncers truly gave them a free deep tissue massage, the kind that rearranges your organs alphabetically. Let this be a warning to those who enjoy free money from waheshimiwa,,, one day, after eating their money, they may serve you a beating that will fast-track your journey to Sayuni without a return ticket. Chesaa!!

@JUJA_KOT Gudbae

Indeed it has been a long journey

@MikeSonko @AIRTEL_KE mko na esim?

Mimi nilianza kutumia airtel bado ikiwa kencell and they have never let me down. Nowadays airtel money is just as good as mpesa

@FGaitho237 WE SHALL OCCUPY UHURU &MUHOHO HOMES .

@WaruiJohn2 Another one ☝️

President akiona such a video msee wa Musk anashootiwa in broad day light huwa anasema Nini?

Executive, Parliament and Judiciary has failed Kenyans. Citizens must take back their power and remove these people from gov't.

@AIRTEL_KE kujieni hii mkebe yenu. After paying for 15mbps, 2mbps is what I'm getting. Value for money, right?

@Brian_kip18 @EPLBar_ @polo_kimanii Bro you casually said 2 girlfriends 🤣🤣

@EPLBar_ @polo_kimanii No, I'm not in a marriage arrangement, but two girlfriends

Siku imeanza vibaya sana

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@Kotsocha_ke @KhalifKairo 🤣🤣🤣

@KhalifKairo Karibu sana mkuu,,,nipaste uweke kitu?

1. Glory to GOD 2. Thanks for the unwavering support

@SikukuGevin @polo_kimanii Hujashare mzee?

@polo_kimanii Hit a follow button guys to get notifications I will be sharing the houses available by kesho due to public demand 1,2 and 3 bedrooms

I wonder why Eve maina would lie she lives in Runda kumbe anaishi Banana,eiih! Hiyo sini kama mtu wa Uthiru kusema anaishi lower karen buana

@McOnoka @NoFrill10282358 @POTENTdynamics Joker 😂😂

@NoFrill10282358 @POTENTdynamics Thank you bro .. Unajua bei ni kitu ya kuongea na kubadilisha I'm requesting unaeza mpa my number nitashukuru Sana 0726390745

“Have a fantastic weekend”🎁

Show me your wrist watch

Auditor General Nancy Gathungu has released the audit report for the 2023–24 financial year for counties. We start with County 001 — Mombasa: The audit report highlights several financial irregularities and mismanagement issues in the Mombasa County Executive Thread below:

If there is a place in Kenya that I feel like has it ALL, it’s HomaBay County & this is coming from someone that has extensively moved around in Kenya Let me explain below….

@WAMBUTU07 @alexmwanzo @Keen_Audio Kujia KUERL ya kes. 13,000 boss!

@alexmwanzo @Keen_Audio Underseat sub ya JBL ni mangapi?

Ile debe starlet itakuwa nayo itakuwa of the books bwana siet Audio by @Keen_Audio Underseat sub by JBL jBL 4 inch front speakers jBL 6 inch rears Alafu an alpine radio ndio tunasaka

@MsMacharia Oh lawd 😃😃😃

He looks like the Ogopa Deejays logo