🧚🏼‍♀️

gf that’s always been too shy to make a waffle at a hotel continental breakfast 🤝 bf that never missed his chance to make one

@BertAve6 Looks like you

New rule, No more kids allowed in my apt. My friend brought a child and this lil mf drew on my wall. What is this 😂

is there anything better than a crunchy back crack

just switched my ceiling fan to go clockwise for the winter and I’m feelin like an aerospace engineer

RIP Hagrid 🖤

I can tell my period is coming by the way I teared up listening to Who Knew by Pink this morning

@Empress__Jae @DazedDesiree

this nigga TIEDDDD of cuttin them damn umbilical cords 😭

You can tell when the two flight attendants don’t fw each other. Zero chemistry on the drink cart

Please help us spread the word. We WONT SPEND A NICKEL ON MARKETING. WE COMPLETELY RELY ON WORD OF MOUTH This allows us to price at such low prices. So all help is welcome from everyone and anyone !

Nobody warns about the hazards of reading at a young age. I’ll be mispronouncing words like “haphazard”, “melancholy”, and “hors d'oeuvres” for the rest of my life.

dating at 27 is asking ur bf if he wants to go half on a baby when he sends u a pic of him mowing a lawn

Welcome to Sosa Studies class

I don’t care if I miss my flight I am not getting on the plane until Shrek Forever After finishes downloading

Next time gas go under $2 ima put some in the freezer

soulmates are friends too, not just partners

slavic version of the sex talk

accidentally spelled observation “observatino” and it’s now my new favorite word

Someone in the crowd: “You’re late!” Rihanna: “No shit.”