UNAG | Deester

THE RENAISSANCE ANTHOLOGY FINALLY OUT NOW youtu.be/4Dn5XdP1Q78

@sadcayuts Does anyone have that one video of the two dudes doing this for Arizona state

Preparing ahead #BBN

@zinownh When you get those sulfur burps you know it’s game over

when the saliva starts building up too much…

@Claire_DeLoon Dawg who even is that

Also people thinking I legitimately meant silver is my favorite character like yeah bro. She’s not even my favorite angry bird like look at my pfp

“Go to hell” is tired and overused. “I hope your favorite character gets retconned into a worse and completely unrecognizable one for no reason other than to give the male lead a forced hetero love interest” is far more terrifying.

I left Alabama. I am in Georgia now. At 3 a.m. I saw a yellow sign glowing beside the highway. Waffle House. I went in. The parking lot was full. At 3 a.m. I asked the waitress when they close. She looked at me the way you look at a child who has asked when gravity ends. She said, "We don't close, baby." Two things happened in that sentence. One: I learned Waffle House has never closed. Not at night. Not on Christmas. Not during hurricanes. Two: she called me "baby." I am a grown man. I have a mortgage. It repaired something in me I did not know was broken. I ordered hash browns. She said, "Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced, peppered, capped, or topped?" I did not understand a single word in that sentence. I said, "Yes." She nodded and wrote it down. Apparently that was a correct answer. Then I learned something, and I need you to know I did not invent this. The United States government measures the strength of hurricanes by whether the Waffle House is open. Open: the storm is fine. Limited menu: the storm is serious. Closed: evacuate. It is over. This is called the Waffle House Index. FEMA uses it. FEMA. The disaster agency. Japan built earthquake satellites. America watches a diner. Both systems work. At 3 a.m., the Waffle House contained: two truck drivers. A nurse still in scrubs. Four teenagers in prom clothes. One man who had clearly made several mistakes that evening. And one Japanese man with a notebook. Nobody asked anybody why they were there. At Waffle House, being there is the answer. Then a man at the counter noticed my Alabama shirt. It was a gift. Long story. He did not speak. He pointed at the shirt and shook his head slowly, the way you correct someone in church. Then he said, quietly: "Go Dawgs." I panicked and used the only word I own. "Roll Tide." Every fork in the building stopped. The cook looked up from the eggs. The waitress said, "Baby, no." I understand now. Every state here has its own word. My word is from one state ago. The man bought my waffle anyway. He said, and I am quoting him exactly: "You didn't know. Bless your heart." I have been told that phrase has two meanings. I believe I received the gentle one. I believe.

In Alabama a man said "Roll Tide" to me as a greeting. Later that same day, the same man said "Roll Tide" as a goodbye. I asked a woman at the store what it means. She said, "Roll Tide." I asked what it means. She said, "It means Roll Tide, sugar." So I began collecting evidence. I kept a list. I am not embarrassed about the list. I have now heard "Roll Tide" used as: hello. Goodbye. Thank you. I am sorry. Congratulations. That is unfortunate. I agree. I disagree. And once, in a hardware store, as a complete set of instructions for installing a ceiling fan. I heard it said at a funeral. It was appropriate. It was the most appropriate thing anyone said that day. I began using it. Carefully at first, the way a man handles a borrowed sword. I said it to a cashier. She said it back. I said it to a police officer who had stopped me for a broken taillight. He looked at me for a long moment. He looked at my face. He looked at my taillight. Then he said it back, and nodded once, and did not write the ticket. I wish to be extremely clear that I am not claiming those two events are related. I am also not claiming they are unrelated. A man at a gas station heard my accent and asked where I was from. I told him Japan. He said, "Roll Tide." He meant welcome. I knew he meant welcome. There was no ambiguity at all. I have been in Alabama eleven days. I have one word. It has been enough for everything. I have started saying it in other states. It does not work in other states. I said it in a warehouse store in Oregon. One man turned around. He was from Alabama. He said it back. We did not speak after that. We did not have to. I say it anyway.

@batrickburner This would be so fucking fire im so serious 😭 it’s like that one melee tournament where they had COD casters

@deester_ Gonna have every AL ult caster commentating melee next year for the love of the game

Who do I contact to get into the AL Melee scene, krewe 2 looked very fun LOL

@batrickburner omg hiiiiii

@deester_ :3

@plainrocktweets You fell off unc pack it up

I’ll come up with something for them 🤷‍♂️

This deal wasn’t a glitch and still in stock 12 hours later. THEY’RE WORTHLESS 🤣

@bluegerberas Please don’t do that this job market is so bad

Please release me, I just want to be unemployed in my sisters home while I figure out my real post grad plans

Tried to quit my job with the excuse that I was moving and they told me they could offer me a transfer w a better position

@KattalystT @Y2KD_ @miraflux @MetaReflexive Bro counted

@Y2KD_ @miraflux @MetaReflexive I remember them not being as loud with about 2 exceptions.

Being a substitute teacher is so thankless, yeah man, the sub “snitched” because you made their life a living nightmare for 45 minutes for no reason

@anflnerd Why are rap fans so insistent on calling gnx bad

"oh you fw kendrick so you listen to gnx" "oh you fw drake so you listen to meet your padre" "oh you fw cole so you listen to grippy" "oh you fw tyler so you listen to mommanem" "oh you fw travis so you listen to shyne" "oh you fw future so you listen to 2018"

@slimebaalGBE @vinndication @MarcyInnovates All they did was say they like Denzel curry bro it’s really not that deep

"Check out the new denzel curry album dude" The new denzel curry album:

Lindsey Graham speeding past Mitch McConnell on the way to hell (whoever is last is a rotten egg)

BREAKING: Mitch McConnell died 27 days ago. They are hiding his death from the public until August 4th 2026 to prevent a special election. The deadline for the special is on that day. They are afraid Thomas Massie will win that special election.

You gotta give it up to Jay Z for not caving and getting a rhinoplasty

An extensive study of PlayStation 5 physical discs reveals how many of them require no sort of internet connection or additional downloads to run. gamerant.com/ps5-discs-work…

@Lost_2_found Yes girl risk your life for that aftershock win!

If you DQ from a smash tournament because of rain you are a pussy #RealGrindersDriveThroughTornadoes

@Pikminthusiast @McRoachAU #ReleaseTheMcRoachFiles

The behavior here by @McRoachAU is legitimately disgusting. I'm shocked anyone lets him at events