Derek Perry

@PerryAwards @sraczycki IMPOSTER!!!!!

I need to be like a gay vampire.

I don't mind if a girl partner doesn't wash her hands before sex.

No one can stop a butthole from being funny.

There's gonna be a whole lot of me going around.

@tmacandcheese heck yeah! I can't wait to hear it! We funkified Sweet Perfection

It was like my dicks arms were folded.

How do you take a picture of... of your thing?

People who plays drums like that should be unfuckable.

@bonjovi yo hit me up

I need to get in touch with Jon Bon Jovi ASAP. Please someone have him contact me.

This meat is so good but I'm so full of it already. It just falls apart in my mouth.

Whipping it out right here is the best.

I'll creep up on him, he won't feel a thing.

Will you twist my uh.... "thing"?

@seanber what, you don't want your pickle tickled?

I don't know whether to look at my butt as half empty or half full.

I could take any sort of pole I want.

I wasn't eating it, it just fell in my mouth.

He's just dildoing your ass while he's jerking off. OH FUCK