celeste 🐇

.⋆♱ #edtwt intro ⛧°.⋆ ✮ 20 | lesbian ☣︎ she/they | -18 DNI ​✟ ana ⋆˚₊ new to edtwt been on tumblr for five years ✮ bmi 16.5 | sw 58 cw 47 gw 45 ​​✟ relapsed after a year of recovery, I'm not fatphobic/shameful/toxic but dc if you are #starving #ana #wl

update I felt full for ten minutes and now I can start feeling hungry again.. the polyphagia isn't gone 💔

534cal vegan breakfast to try and start maintaining my weight, it was so scary for me to eat so much and feel almost full, the chocolate was the hardest part, I enjoyed the pancakes the most! #edtwt #wieiad heading to the gym in an hour yay

the thing is, I feel like if I don't reach a certain bmi it means that I wasnt sick enough so idk what to do, do I stop or do I keep going?

eds aren’t just disgusting, they’re deadly. ppl seem to forget that 🤔 what IS disgusting is calling mentally ill ppl that and expecting it to help anything

@oatkittyzz yup, one reason I want to recover is to stop having heart palpitations/extreme body aches due to thinness

honestly I fear death more than I fear being back to my hw, I just wanted to see if I could lose 10+kg without ever needing to and now that it's almost done I wonder if I took it too far like was all the pain worth it? I'm not sure anymore

I don't wanna be cold anymore, a pile of bones you try to love

how do I know when enough is enough? did I take it too far? concern looks like love, the going gets good then I fuck things up

as soon as I lose one more kg I'm gonna maintain bc I think if I lose any more it'll get really dangerous

one thing about me is that I never b/c every day and I just did today for the first time in weeks and I literally scared myself so I need to start maintaining asap if I don't want to get worse I won't post bodychecks on here but I've reached 46,4 so I'm practically at my gw

getting thinner always solves my problems

does anyone watch supersize vs superskinny and lowkenuinely just steal the superskinny's diet? no? just me? ok..

it's getting so bad I had to force myself to finish a CHOCOLATE MOUSSE... no not cake, not a dense dessert a MOUSSE because I felt so full and nauseous from eating veggies and a bit of bread..

mine too except she didn't say the ana bit bc shes ill herself and wouldn't say it out loud everrrr

@insaneradiohead depends on which banana and which apple and their weight/sizes

why do people on edtwt hate banana but love apples they are like the same amount of cals :((

for anyone who needs to hear this: you are still ill even if you've never fasted btw, restricting is the only proof that you are truly ill and there is no right way to be

@beetlegender this. BED is always ignored and it annoys me sm because almost all ED girlies have had at least one binge episode...

they also refuse to acknowledge that bed exists and even love to ignore bulimia. literally anything that isn’t anorexia

the average person really thinks that having an eating disorder means never eating ever at all

I wish my grandpa understood that he's always commenting on how small my portions are like sorry I'm not obese like you