Dilectus

@DineshDSouza Shut up I'll be excited when you and Owens and all you grifters are done grifting.

I’m really, really excited. I hear Candace Owens has a new bombshell investigation proving not merely that the Artemis II mission to reach the moon is a fake, but also that THE MOON ITSELF IS A FAKE. The moon does not exist, folks. Hard evidence coming soon!

@aricchen I just mean, if you feel that way write out a better sentence and run with it!

@aricchen What a poor sentence for a supposedly educated person.

End CCP!

@TRHLofficial Someone explain to me how they are a great ally

Israel is our greatest ally.

@soogz1 Wonderful to hear Goddex

submissive men are MY TYPE

@VividVivka I have not had sex in years. It does sound like a lie and I appreciate people would think that despite the truth

I hate April Fools so much …. So instead tell new something TRUE about yourself that sounds like a lie.

@KcRunner351 @JerryQuickel You need a hobby Matt.

@JerryQuickel wtf kind of mental illness is this? How does one derive joy from such a thing

I have decided to stop collecting helmets. It has become overwhelming personally and I am just not enjoying it anymore. If you are interested in one of these hit me up and I will make arrangements to ship it to you. Thanks for following along all these years- Jerry

@snowiecone Dave. These are the Daves I know, I know, these are the Daves I know.

gun to your head name a canadian

@lizzkelly7 I think they should

If men can have multiple wives why can’t women have multiple husbands?

@PJQualityGuru If my only options were you or John James I would ... *Sigh* move to ... ohio ... Damn it all.

John James is informing his supporters tonight that his campaign “could be over soon.” His campaign may “crash and burn.” His campaign is collapsing as it did when it cost Republicans up and down the ticket in both 2018 and 2020. We cannot allow him to cost Republicans yet again. Please join our campaign to eliminate the income tax, reform property taxes, and hold Jocelyn Benson accountable for her fraud and abuse!

@jFudgy_ I hope this is April Fools.

BREAKING: Left-hander Tarik Skubal and the Detroit Tigers are finalizing an eleven-year, $401 million contract extension including a full no-trade clause, sources tell ESPN. Skubal, 29, aims to win his 3rd straight Cy Young while now being the highest paid pitcher in MLB history.

@beinlibertarian April Fools

Dan Bongino is a good guy and people should leave him alone.

@shubhvanii That is me.

Are You This Person: 1. Never gets a "hey how are you" text. 2. Always on your phone 24/7, just to escape your own thoughts. 3. Wants to be alone but doesn't want to be alone. 4. Nice to everyone but gets treated like trash. 5. Insecure about the way you look. 6. Overthink every small thing 7. Gives good advice but can't fix their own life.

@migangnoguera VCR repairmen

Hay una profesión que tiene el mayor índice de: - Suicidios - Depresión - Divorcios - Alcoholismo - Abuso de drogas legales - Bournout (se describió primeramente en ella) - Mala vida familiar Adivinen cual es? Pero SIEMPRE fue así. Algunos lo descubren ahora

@RooferSteve21 @jemelehill For the money he was making, I'll celebrate whatever is needed.

@jemelehill But you're okay with jobs forcing pride celebrations on them?

Everybody who thinks this is cool, go to your job and try this and see what happens.

@Reeseforsure In Australia it is April 1st.

If the lizard ppl conspiracy comes true im gonna lose it

@BenStiller Trying to succeed.

What are we doing

@senatorbabet April Fools nonsense, stop it.

YES ALIENS ARE ALREADY HERE! I was briefed by intelligence this morning on a developing situation. Details are highly classified. Australians will understand soon enough. Stay calm.

@ReysukaXO Had, honestly ... we never had, long before us.

we have dinosaurs, what more do u want?

@shinjukuface Let me speak to you Caris and others in your kind of language. "Turning down millions seems kinda Gay."

Caris LeVert on Jaden Ivey: “I hate to see someone punished for their beliefs. What happened to free speech in this country? I fully support and agree with what Jaden has said over the past few days. I can’t sit and watch him be silenced, if that’s an issue, then cut me”.