soleil ☆

if there's one thing about me it's that i'm always somewhat confused

thinking about how june is next week and im still in the overweight bmi category

it's gonna be my birthday soon (4 days) and i'm no where near my gw... i fucked up

COKE NIGHT WITH MY FAVE COUSIN AND BESTIES YESSSSS ☺️😋

i don't understand how anyone could actually love me and want me to be near them and even miss me and call me and text me like that's fucking crazy lol you are wasting your precious time on a piece of shit waste of space... like are you not embarrassed? ashamed? disgusted??

but they still call me every fucking week. for like 7 months now. they still call me without fail and i still never pick up. i'm a fucking lost cause. i'm horrible. and i should be dead. fuck

after my fifth time at the mental hospital last year in like november i went to this outpatient rehab sorta thing. for like three times and then i stopped going. then i went to a group therapy session and i cried a lot and looked stupid and embarrassed myself and never went back

holy shit i really am an addict and i think addiction is stunting my growth and lowkey ruining my life. next week i turn 25 and i still feel like i'm 17. i'm a pathetic loser addict burden piece of shit waste of space that should have died years and years ago.

having to lose the weight u already lost all over again

🔁

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to do drugs

i’d love to hangout with u just let me lose 30 pounds first

i'm a pathetic piece of shit like why the fuck do i continue to have the audacity to be alive

i wish i could just be normal

enjoying my morning IPA (it's 7:30 am)

i'm so fucking ugly i don't deserve to be alive

fuck maybe this is a sign that i should end it all lol

i have no value or worth as a human being because i let myself get fat as fuck

one of my college besties is visiting me rn and it's fun and awesome and i missed her but i also just feel like killing myself

nvm

day 1 being sober