Disastrous Astrid

I'm terrified by the prospect of getting torn apart by a gorilla, you know. But I'm also curious.

@StopTweetingMia Or do they make that sound from modern nintendo commercials every time you sprinkle them.

@StopTweetingMia When you say switch do you mean like we start putting sugar on french fried or like. All of the sugar becomes salt and all the salt becomes sugar.

I'm pressing the green button (nobody dies but sugar and salt switch)

@ClaireMax I have D's and yes I play with them constantly. 🤭

If I had huge boobs I feel like I would be touching and squeezing them all the time. Homies with huge boobs, how do you not do this

This is a good thing, mind you.

The older and further away from Batman Forever I get the more Kiss From A Rose sounds like renfaire music with yearning.

@tracheesecake Yeah, it happened to me. Like I had small changes and stuff but they started hitting harder this year, and I started in 2023.

Can you be an HRT “late bloomer” like can hrt just do very little at the start and kick off at like a year or something I feel it’s doing nothing for me seeing the changes every other trans girl brags about and how my measurements refuse to change ever

@deathbian I did the same thing in Elden Ring, put literally all my levels into magic and mind and nothing into health and my friends short circuit a bit when they saw me die to everything in one hit and not have any melee alternatives. It's worth it, though, it becomes endlessly broken.

@disastrid weird to me and seemingly weird for this game's apparent purposes but not weird for fantasy gaming in general

i finally beat capra demon this time when i was playing, and this thought did come to mind the first time i threw a lightning spear at him after stabbing both his dogs. i needed to perform literal miracles to murder this guy in his garden for a key

@deathbian Magic is pretty broken, but apparently I'm weird about the way I approach it. I don't really use melee weapons, just spells.

@disastrid catalyst. if it weren't for the high faith requirement for sunlight spear, my collecting-everything ass would have just gone for a sorcerer and gotten velka's talisman. they've got it so much weirdly better, it seems. this part is just me bitching about balancing, but it's weird

@deathbian It's hard to find, but if you roll into the bush at the bottom of the tower while in human form you can summon a witch who can solo moonlight butterfly if you can dodge/tank her attacks for a few minutes.

@disastrid idk what witch you mean. i kinda just ran past the enemies and grabbed loot until i stumbled onto the butterfly, then threw like four sunlight spears. i was still hollow at the time, and thought it'd be one of the weird insta-disappearing fog walls with no boss

@deathbian Oh yeah, absolutely. Typically with faith or magic it's best to convert a weapon you like to divine as it comes. Getting the divine ember early isn't so bad if you summon the witch for the moonlight butterfly.

@disastrid dexterity suck) comes really early on, the divine ember would be difficult to get to rarlier than that if i didn't have lightning spear, and rickert is really missable. i can see why someone doing a faith or intelligence build at very low level might gravitate toward it

@deathbian I never got much out of raw in general, even when not upgrading your stats, you're usually better off with chaos or something.

@disastrid i don't really *need* raw (because high stats), lightning (because there'll be a miracle for that), fire (because chaos can cover that), magic (because i'll have enchanted), or crystal (because i can't keep it anyway), but my collector urges and my achievement hunting.

@deathbian Ask all the questions, I don't mind. X) Claymore is the only sword I can think of that's big and has a reasonably quick thrust attack. You have similar options like the bastard sword, but that's gonna replace your thrust with a chop. There's only one claymore per playthrough.

@disastrid one more question: is there a weapon that's swing/thrust in one hand, like the claymore, but not as incredibly slow as the greatsword? or another claymore i can find so i can have a divine and an occult (once i unlock occults)?

@deathbian Yeah, I've done it right several times but I usually skip the bulk of blighttown. It's an annoying place.

@disastrid oh. well i haven't fought that boss yet because the weird ogre giant thing knocked me off the bridge when prepping lightning spear. i'll go around the back way, ring that, and then soul farm to buy some

@deathbian Hahaha, probably! You need to ring the two bells of awakening to open sen's fortress. The first bell is behind the gargoyles, the second bell is behind the boss in blighttown.

@disastrid also, is sen's fortress where i killed the onion guy? is that supposed to already be open for me?

@deathbian Oh, I dunno if I need to clarify this, but you actually get to the valley of the drakes by taking the elevator under the bonfire in firelink. Next door to that tower is another tower. You don't have to fight a single enemy from firelink to get to the valley.

@disastrid the crystal giants in darkroot basin (it looks like a hydra i think, but i can't get very close) - the valley of the drakes (i can enter from darkroot or through anor londo by the boss because i have the masterkey) - the people behind the door you need the crest from andre...

@deathbian Found this for you, right behind the PC in this image.

@deathbian Act like you're going to the valley of the drakes, there's a cave across the bridge before the sleeping dragon on the cliff!

@deathbian I usually farm the slimes in the hallway by the bonfire in the depths. The combustion pyromancy will likely oneshot them. Alternatively you can buy them at sen's fortress for 5k each.

@disastrid oh um speaking of +15, where can i find green titanite for my divine weapons (i'm a stupidly high faith build)

@deathbian Hope this helps, feel free to DM me if you have any questions. I have a stupid amount of hours in this game. You could legally call me a professional. I wouldn't, but legally, you could.

@deathbian You can actually make those chumps jump off the cliff if you stand between the staircase doorway and the cliff in that little wedge at the bottom after you grab their attention. Good way to farm souls for upgrading your pyromancy early on if you're having trouble killing them.