David

Local Man Bravely Powers Through Monday Morning At Work Despite Slight Hangover

JUVENIIIIILE

@mj_a_w apparently there were a series of random shootings by the same people throughout south austin for the last 24 hours (including one in my neighborhood as I slept this AM 😬)

time to go see juvenile in concert now that we've lifted the shelter in place!!!

@KingMikeElko @CJVogel_OTF @lukeevangelist_ no but it seems like you might be with your weirdo coach burner. i encourage you to get some friends and/or a life.

@dnaz21 @CJVogel_OTF @lukeevangelist_ Are you fucking stupid Dave?

Texas A&M gets run-ruled at home 9–1. Their season is over. Aggies fail to advance out of their regional again. #Texas will host Arizona State in the Super Regional beginning Thursday.

@KingMikeElko @CJVogel_OTF @lukeevangelist_ the guy you went out of the way to search for the tweet from is obsessed with your school?

@CJVogel_OTF CJ is so obsessed with Texas A&M it’s not even funny @lukeevangelist_

@IHateAustinTX @Austin_Police one of the lowest crime rates of any large city in the country, you fucking brain dead moron

@Austin_Police Why are most of us supposed to care about this? Austin is a crime-filled shithole. This is just par for the course and certainly not surprising, nor worthy of texts and emails. Good luck anyway.

SHELTER IN PLACE: Austin Police officers continue to search for suspects located to multiple shootings and have issued a shelter in place in the areas of South Slaughter Ln, East McKinney Falls Pkwy, North Ben White Blvd., and West Escarpment Blvd. Residents in the surrounding area are instructed to stay indoors until further notice.

@cost_of_bums @Austin_Police @JosePGarza are you the dumbest person alive

@Austin_Police Anyone else think this is another @JosePGarza special? Charges dropped so he could keep working to support his family?

BRIEFING: City of Austin Mayor Kirk Watson and Chief Lisa Davis provide details on shooting incidents.

I’m telling you man that next day on SportsCenter was something special lmao

Woj Bomb

@traderjoeslut 43 am

43 am eatin cheecake

what a gift it is to still have paul mccartney alive and performing!!

Arnold Palmer: get me a refreshing drink Bartender: try this, its lemonade and iced tea Palmer: Mm..its good..I just invented it

OUR SABRES

@AriWasserman 90% of the people who hate on him are the same people complaining about the players who hit the portal for immediate playing time and chase the bag, two things he has done the opposite of! It's baffling

It’s wild cause the man never did anything to earn it other than being born into a famous family

When I’m at the dumb beret store and see one I like

@AriWasserman we are at the point in the off-season where everyone is pretending like florida was the last game he played

We’ve had really smart NFL Draft experts on our show who have broken down his tape and they all agree he’s a legit first-rounder. And Texas got so much better offensively this offseason. What do people think is going to happen?

nvm

our sabres??

@SnackPr0tein I'm a Dallas for life

one of the funniest interactions i’ve ever seen on this website