Don't Panic! Radio

@RealJamieKay @gavinthomas2015 I met him too! A lovely guy!

@gavinthomas2015 Paul Daniels.

Who is the most famous person you have ever spoken to?

@thetimes Why?

Boris Johnson is to announce the return of imperial weights and measures, making it legal for market stalls, shops and supermarkets to sell their goods using only Britain’s traditional weighing system post-Brexit #Echobox=1631809829" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">thetimes.co.uk/article/scales…

@terrychristian The statement will start some time after midday. The statement will end less than a second later.

Brexit opportunities ....we've been waiting 5 years to hear what these are 😂😂😂

@HedwigGraymalk I sympathise! Whenever I think I have been miraculously cured, there is always a painful little reminder...

@hartleywintney Has Mrs Jayawardena had enough of the crookedness and quit?

Our MP’s expenses claims dropped considerably in 20/21 from a high of nearly £218,000 in 19/20 to £40k. Mostly due to lower staffing costs (£152k down to £10.5k)!

@DocStrangelove2 @25th_Prestige Wine vs Vinegar...

@25th_Prestige Wine vs Milk

@RedeyedJohnny5 @backinblackbur1 @voeckseo Do you mean to say 'You understand fuck all'?

@backinblackbur1 @voeckseo Nah, it’s because you don’t understand fuck all

People who are fully vaccinated and also wearing masks are the same people who did all the work in group projects.

@CeruleanGates ... any form of attention to be honest...

Men will fall in love with you when you show them kindness

@CeruleanGates Which of us is the dolphin?

Don't forget to clean your bellybutton!

@CeruleanGates The lack of fire extinguishers works in my favour for once!

@dontpanicradio1 Lol it's kinda smoky in here too

I've come to the conclusion that I would like to do you. So bad.

@robertw93341020 @MarinaPurkiss @Grammarly !! One for you here! See if you can make it legible...

@MarinaPurkiss This does make laugh is the country that worse off under a conservative government no I don’t think so. We have just gone through the toughest times since ww2 and are we broken no has Brexit ruined us no.

I strongly disagree with that I’ll vote for it anyway to keep my job This is what it means to be a Tory MP in broken, Brexit Britain

@BorisJohnson Your words mean f**k all. Instead of pouring money into the hands of your chums, why not ensure all emergency services workers receive a pay increase in line with inflation. That way those that keep you safe and well aren't being made poorer. Actions speak louder than words

On #999Day, we honour those who work & volunteer to keep us safe and well, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In the last 18 months emergency services have faced unprecedented challenges. I know I speak on behalf of the whole country when I say thank you, we are immensely proud.

I once met Biggins. He was a twat then too. And he stole a large bouquet of flowers from a charity event having had a skinful of free wine and food. Didn't donate a penny. Twat.

@dadimakesmusic Aurora! @AURORAmusic

I have started working on a full length album. I wan't to have some strong featuring artists on it. Who would you like to see? I have some in mind already but would love to hear some ideas.

@Reeves194 Yeah, but not the best Whiskey...

Quick question If you have tradesmen in the house do you offer them a drink?

@Crondall4Europe @ranil @TeamRanil Yeah, but Ranil will do OK out if the whole fiasco, so f**k the rest of us!

theguardian.com/business/2021/… You promoted, supported and voted for #Brexit @ranil @TeamRanil. This 'disastrous decline' is of your making and has happened under your watch as International Trade Minister. #RanilsWreckage

@PotatoOfDespair Some men would struggle to find Mary's head.

@kelvin_fay @pritipatel @sajidjavid All these 'orrible forreiners all over Parliament must be driving her mad!!