shannon

when women are comfortable, women YAP ur ears off and talk about little details like oh look at this little rock I found, i saw a cloud with this shape etc etc etc. as a man, u should realise u won at life if ur woman is like that lol

ARIANA GRANDE VIA THE BRIGHTER DAYS HOTLINE

Ariana Grande teases her eighth album via her Brighter Days hotline: “We’re counting down the 8s— Oops, I meant the days! [until tour].”

“Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers looking as though he hadn't been at all, had taken a pair of kitchen scissors and cut his hair so short he was almost bald except for his bangs, which she left "to hide that horrible scar".”

After seeing the Apple, Netflix, ESPN etc clown shows, I don't know how anyone doesn't appreciate YES with Kay, Cone, ONeill etc. Far and away better.

Watching your kids for an hour so your wife or girlfriend (who stays home every second of the day raising your children) can go to the grocery store without kids is not a break. If you believe that’s a break you’re contributing to the downfall of her mental health. Hope that helps.

I don’t know, I just keep coming back to this idea that children are supposed to outgrow you. That’s the whole point, right? You give them everything you didn’t have & pray they run farther than you ever imagined. You hand them a map & whisper…please, find the roads I was too afraid to walk, let the world be kinder to you than it was to me, step into the future like it’s yours, because it is. And honestly, the idea of being jealous of them feels so backwards. Because a parent who envies their child has forgotten the assignment entirely. If my children surpass me, GOOD, that means the story didn’t end with my mistakes. Envy has absolutely no place in a room where you’re teaching someone how to grow. I want them to take every beautiful thing I ever did & every bad thing I survived and use it as scaffolding. Please, climb so high the sun is forced to learn your name. Please, fly so high you never have to look back to see where I stopped. And if all I ever do in this life is give my children the ground to launch from, then that’s enough for me. More than enough.

like why are they twerkin on a taxi for game 1 of the regular season

The new Harry Potter looks fire. Idgaf

Every night baseball is there for you. Even when you turn your back on baseball, its still there. We structure our days around the 7PM Yankees first pitch. No other sport is like that. Simply put, baseball is a friend when you need it. Baseball is the best.

Opening day on Netflix has to be the worst idea anyone has ever had

They do it in the sun. They do it under the stars. They do it in biting April chill and punishing August heat. Baseball is enmeshed with – and an expression of – the season. And they play every day. The game is part of the daily routine. It is life, from April through October.

One good thing about Pokopia is now we can associate Ditto with something other than the Day Care

Part of good parenting is choosing not to have more kids than you can handle.

Since when did sleeping with arms become a problem?? Like, where can I put them that won’t hurt or cause them to go numb??

One thing about 3pm is that it is the end of the day.

When all your loved ones think you're ghosting them when you're just fighting the biggest battle of your life in secret

Baseball is back next week which means my will to live is back and my personality is back

Sometimes life gets so serious you can’t even check on your friends you just have to hope they’re fighting back against life too