emma 🦭

@DanielYoung_21 genuinely no idea how i got along without em

@dumbidiottt It’s life saver lol

how tf did i ever drive a car without heated seats

(they can all still die!!)

turning a whole bar full of cubs fans into temporary pirates fans while they beat the brewers got me feeling like

@ItsMeMikeyR09 @stoolgambling my goat

@stoolgambling @dumbidiottt

Oneil Cruz is currently on pace to join Shohei Ohtani in the 50-50 club

@_notvincentt i was thinking he looks like a cardboard box idk if that makes any sense tho lmaooo

i would kill myself on live television to forever alter the course and trajectory of everyone’s lives if this was the AI rendering my new job put out of me

switching it up to the sounds of the boot camp scenes from full metal jacket then wondering why i’m so angry

falling asleep to the Smile 2 soundtrack then wondering why i’m always so anxious

@5lacco @alqaeda feeling so blessed to not be a fan of the nfl today 🤞🤫

@dumbidiottt @alqaeda we took y’all’s guard too

need a terrorist attack on this city asap @alqaeda

live footage of me at work after forgetting to take my vyvanse

shaved my legs in a hurry after 6 beers my bathroom looks like hannah bakers

dying from SIDS at 33

“just having a bad week” i said, for the 1,023rd week in a row

“almost 8pm and it’s still a nice 70 degrees outside, nothing can ruin this!!” absolutely buttfuck massive bumblebees that are only interested in dive bombing directly at your face: