the.effing.librarian

#Republicans wouldn't be doing what they're doing now if they didn't have a plan to do something worse.

"Donald J Trump. The J stands for JUSTIFYING." Justifying what? "ANYTHING" #IranWar

"Remember when Biden had the price of #gas over $25 a gallon and now it's much lower under #DonaldTrump?" No. "You better start remembering it that way."

@washingtonpost NATO should have come to the aid of America after Trump's unprovoked attack on Iran. That's what bros do.

President Trump was planning to discuss the possibility of the U.S. exiting NATO in a meeting with its top leader, the White House said. The president has been angry at alliance members for declining to take part in the U.S.-Israeli war on Iran. wapo.st/4cmKybE

@CBSEveningNews @TheKellyOGrady Oil companies agreed to lower the price of gas but only if Americans accept that a gallon is 100 oz

Oil prices saw their biggest single-day drop in six years Wednesday, as traders bet supply concerns could ease soon. Regular gas prices hit $4.16 a gallon, and @TheKellyOGrady reports it could take months to come down — even if the Strait of Hormuz reopens immediately. cbsn.ws/4sijL61

@CBSNews "Trump is such a kidder. And genocide is so Trump. That guy's hilarious. Now excuse me while I load my bunker with canned food."

Early on Tuesday morning, President Trump said in a Truth Social post that "a whole civilization will die tonight" if no deal is reached with Iran. He has given a 8 p.m. ET deadline for that deal – and said he will order attacks to destroy all of the country's power plants and bridges. CBS News @JaredOchacher asked people on the streets of New York City how they felt about the post and everyone he met had a negative reaction.

"Tonight, Tonight, I destroy Iran tonight." Trump Side Story at the Trump Kennedy Trump Trump Center #donaldtrump #IranWar‌

@ABC "Less America. More Americant. As in, you can't live here." Your racist Grandma.

ICE agents arrested the wife of a U.S. Army staff sergeant at the military base where he is stationed just days after the couple married, an attorney representing the family told ABC News. abcnews.link/TJTiaBi

Modern Christians: "Are you saying Jesus was better than me?" Yes. Yes, that is literally the definition of being a Christian. Modern Christian: "I will kill you. And commit adultery with your wife. In Golden Idol Donald Trump's name, GodDammit."

The world asks how #DonaldTrump can threaten to destroy an entire country, but he cannot open up a little teeny tiny waterway? #straitofhormuz #IranWar‌

Faking News: #DonaldTrump tells Americans that when the Iranian people have no fresh water and no electricity, falafel delivery, lights, hospital services or even The Pitt, they will finally feel FREE and thank him, their genocidal savior. #IranWar‌ #warcrimes

@NBCNews "I hid that, said a local. Now find the other 11 skulls. Happy Easter."

A human skull is found during an Easter egg hunt in a Southern California park, authorities say. nbcnews.com/news/us-news/h…

Faking News: #DonaldTrump reminds the world that he is the TOUGHEST BRAVEST MEANEST LEADER to ever rule a country and begs them for help with the #IranWar‌

What did Jesus say when he resurrected but all the stores and restaurants were closed?

#IranWar‌ Negotiations: "You're going to have to totally destroy us." "Oh, I'll destroy you." "Then do it." "I'll destroy you worse than anything has ever been destroyed." "Do it." "I'm not going to do it if you want me to do it. I'm not a weirdo." #DonaldTrump

Please, someone watch out for Michael so he doesn't get disappeared tonight during the show. And then avoid him after the show because he's definitely getting disappeared by Homeland Security after his Trump theater joke. #snl

SEEN ON BUMPER STICKER "HONK If Your Name Is In The EPSTEIN FILES"

Overheard at the White House: "I have complete faith in [FILL IN NAME HERE]. [FILL IN NAME HERE] has got to go." #donaldTrump

Faking News: Donald #Trump clarifies that the Iran excursion was always a recovery mission because someone said Amelia Earhart's plane might be there in the Strait of Hormuz.

Faking News: According to sources, Donald #Trump said, "You don't get your statue on the National Mall in Washington by feeding hungry children. You get it for winning wars. Or starting wars. At least three wars." #IranWar‌

Faking News: To appease Donald #Trump, @CBSNews to revamp @60Minutes as 60DD Minutes with "Giant GAZONGAS" as the president likes to say.