Probably Drunk

YEAH I’m down to go out again tonight

landlords: we must raise rent costco ceo: i would rather burn this place to the ground than charge more than $1.50 for a hotdog

Me to my worm gf: cmon babe we’re going fishing

If I bite into a steak and it’s a mushroom, ain’t no telling how ungodly I’m going to react

Men created arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look in each other’s eyes

“You’ve changed” yeah idk who I am anymore

Sorry for being violently obsessed with you