Elgon Duke

@Ongesa128188 Kukata nywele msee siwezi pitisha 50 bob ..nyweleeee? Unless they are doing transplant kwa huu upara wangu... considering hakuna ata style yangu ni number 1...

Kuna this Gen z intern in our company. Amenipata canteen juu anakuanga vibe i decided to have coffee with him. Ameniuliza nanyoa na ngapi nikamwambia 1600 akashtuka. Way back i used to shave using 4800. Kwani mnanyoa na how much juu I cant beleive kuna kinyozi ya below 1000 bob.

@Degrata254 Wako na Apps mingi sana...kuna hadi Business Ap..

Safaricom should organise their house, kuna mpesa app, safaricom app, now my one app... Why can't they just stick to one app? Hii confusion inakaa kuleta mambo siku moja, airtel na payless wachukue hii opportunity to dominate the money transfer services.

@KenyaPower_Care I raised a concern yesterday about the blackout in Makongeni, Msambweni, and the power has still not been restored. Please assist. Meter No: 92109522281

Good Evening. The listed area will be affected by planned power interruptions tomorrow (09th April 2026). The interruption is part of network maintenance. For the advanced notice, use bit.ly/31u4jY4 to access the latest schedule, check under the most recent date. ^R.O

@KenyaPower_Care sometimes kuweni na utu, siku tunangoja ku watch ndio siku vijana wenu wanakuwa na kiherehere ya kukata stima. Sasa sahizi simu zenyewe ndio touch kwaa nyumba, surely. Kenya power Msambweni hapo Makongeni mbona hii hujuma?

@w_bravel @mishaprop_ As early as the league starts

@mishaprop_ When do other teams play?

Wait, there were 747 clubs participating in FA Cup?

@WaruiJohn2 As family man ... hapa ata kugongewa wife ntagongewa soon ...chuma kimeshikana

If DCI raid your house today, how much money in cash will they recover?

@DantizerCFC Real win Arsenal win Wrexham GG

Mafans mnaona aje hapa?

@KipkorirHassani @Amag_ke The best....hii unaeza pika kimya kimya kwa nyumba haina kelele

@Amag_ke How is that burner as compared to the original one?

Hii mnarefill na how much hapo kwenu mtaani?

@iamennoh You only care about swimming,mtakuja kuzaa viumbe za ajabu mulaumu Maulana bure

I Will be swimming here tonight

@Mghazake Kwani hizi moto huchoma shops huwa mnafikiria nani huwasha?

Ukifungulia bibi biashara alafu ishike aanze kuunda big profits alafu uone ameanza kumea kiburi wewe tuma wezi waibe hiyo biashara😂

@georgediano 25 napewa hizi

KPLC ni mikora tupu!! 100bob= 3.6 unit 50bob= 2.5 Opiyo Wandayi & his cartels hawaezi ona mia yangu kwa hesabu zao tena. Heri nipe Liam kibarua ya kubonyeza kidude niki nunua za chwani chwani like 30 times!!

@ignyharaz2 Mimi na hii ulevi yangu DCI wangekuwa bado wanatafuta body of a middle aged man .. acha nibaki na huyu mdigo wangu tu

Sharp girls are still on the rada, Jana usiku sisi tukipigwa na Southampton na WaKenya wakienjoy mbavu kulimwa mayai, kuna a group of UoN students walitenda my boys sana. They actually met online last month na mapenzi ikaanza kunoga, so yesterday ilikuwa waende kulimana. They agreed to meet, my boy akasuggest akuje kwake huku Ruiru but dem akasema juu ya security, waende kwake. Jamaa wangu akaniuliza kaa ni deal ama aondokee, nkasema aendee BnB ama niwapee neutral room. He was not so sure hadi aka nipea number ya huyo dem just In case mambo iende mbaya... Na hyo number iko hapa mnaeza msalimia Akafika kwa dem akamshow kwanza wapitie club kwanza kupea ceasear chake alafu waende kwake tu sasa kulimana. Wakaenda club fulani hapo Kikuyu town. But my guy still called me saying ana feel insecure. Nkamsho aende alipe tu bill alafu ahepe , asijaribu kulewa ama kwenda kwake juu ni first meeting Kidogo hivi jamaa akajisahau na hapo ndo Njeli from nyeli aipata chance ya kulipa rent. Waliwekea my boy overdose ya mchele while at the club, alafu ikabidi they retire wazimie kwa dem. Walifika kwa dem then after a few minutes watu wanabisha dem anawafungulia wanamuosha Na wakona agent wanatoa pesa uko ,wanakopa kila mahali people pay bills in scary ways He has lost a total almost 30k Walisafisha 5k mpesa, 6k mshwari plus loan, equity bank waka minus 15k na I&M walipata huko thao tatu buana. Na hakujua hata hizo zingine apart from mpesa Asubuhi ndo ameona kumbe walikamua all accounts. Not so good Anyway my boys is fine and at home healing slowly. Inabidi aende ushago as we speak.

@MaxonAiro Sijui ni mimi tu ama..i just feel betjam iko na swara mbaya sana ..kwangu ni red tu daily

Let me heal first. I will be back later. 😐

@Fay254_ aaah mimi naeka slip zote naona moshi tu

Someone just won #483k from my slip 😳😳🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 That's massive!

@Osama_otero @Safaricom_Care Someone share the link to this... kwangu naona tu Mysafaricom

The new @Safaricom_Care My OneApp is actually good! Seems like it is combi of my safaricom app and MPESA app.

@sholard_mancity @KenyaPower_Care come here

KPLC, it’s time to end this token nonsense. Most Kenyans don’t need SMS. Most don’t need to key in codes. Just make it simple: Pay -- tokens reflect -- power comes back instantly. Anything else in 2026 is inefficiency. Respect your customers.

@AIRTEL_KE Mmeficha yai kama network yenu tu

Wangapi waneza pata the Easter egg? Let's see the guesses kwa comment section. Tutajuwa nani wako good instinct on Tuesday.

@Kibet_bull All current voters were registered after 2012, because when the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC) replaced the Interim Independent Electoral Commission (IIEC), it carried out a completely new voter registration process.

Ruto, the IEBC chairman has directed this.

@KipLecturer @Kibet_bull @Entr_dawood Hakuna mtu alikuwa kwa register sikiza what Gachagua said about tharaka votes and how they manipulated

@Kibet_bull @Entr_dawood This is good news.. we must weed out dead voters. It's time 😔,This will automatically slashes murima votes by 10%. Kuna voters Kibaki aliweka kwa register in 2007 😅😅😅

@tonnie_moremi I hope the virus doesn't spread to other players, maybe they may play in solidarity with Enzo

Just like that we have lost Enzo Fernandez. Believe it or not, he's going to be hard to replace.