elizabeth

Capitalists will say things like, "So you just want money for doing nothing, is that it?" and then turn around and praise themselves for their passive income.

americans travelling abroad

i hate that "cats don't care" shit, i say "where's my boy??" and he comes running to me 🩷

“girl fuck you” is gender neutral

Nerds realized liking Japan is no longer niche so now they’re on Kazakhstan

I hate when people at work ask you what books you are reading for professional development. I am reading books to counteract the effects of being professionally developed. I am reading books that bring me back to being human.

my boss doesn't appreciate my "it's really not that serious" vibe I bring to the workplace

“don’t overthink it” ok then what should i do with all the thoughts i already made about it

"not all men!" but all women are bad drivers and all women are moody and all women are emotional and all women get to be painted with the same brush but don't you dare generalise men that's unfair!!!!!!!!

best thing about having hands is that you get to pet cats

Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to log into Microsoft Authenticator 47 times a day.

you’re on Very thick ice with me . i love you

Corporate will really have you (25) beefing with a 55 year old man at 9am

I love how cats are just like “wow I am so happy right now time to vibrate”

me and somebody’s dad at work

why everyone wants to go to japan let's go to bosnia

Sorry I’m late I had to give my cat a million forehead kisses

“it’s not that deep” well, it’s not that shallow either

i hate when teachers are like “if I make an exception for you, i’d have to make an exception for everyone.” do you fucking know what an exception means

“stop that’s ur brother” is such a classic thing to say to a cat. like omg stop that’s literally ur brother. stop ur killing him