chase

obsessed with working in a coworking space. i just walked past a meeting room where 5 guys were standing around a white board that just had the word “money” written on it. like BUSINESS is happening here. these are DISRUPTERS

omg u were in my dream last night! u were acting rly weird lol. like u were sooo bad at conversations. you’d talk & everyone would be like “wait what?” then we were in alaska & it was the iditarod & u were one of the sled dogs! u had those little booties on which was so cute

if ur new to health insurance one important piece of advice is to not get the one that no one takes. u might be surprised that this even exists but it does & all the doctors offices will be like “ugh sry we don’t take that one :( that’s the one no one takes”

buying flour feels so old fashioned. like that’s one of the original goods

if i had a dog i’d bring him to the grocery store so he could sniff ppl in the checkout line and they’d awkwardly be like “haha he’s cute” and i’d be like “whatever” and then me and my dog would leave and never look back

big reminder to everyone that neither you, your parents, your grandparents or even your great grandparents know a life without a postal service, and amazon will never be able to go the extra mile like usps does!! it’s not for profit, it’s a service!!!

hi its ur grocery store we’ve been using dynamic pricing and we found out that out of everyone ur willing to pay the most for a rotisserie chicken :)

i hate in plays when one person leaves and another person enters. like omg can’t u all just hangout

@boot_hee i’d find an air pocket within the ship within the whale

@_chase_____ dumbos ship got swallowed by a whale n shit but i would just be inside so i be chillin

if i were a sailor in olden times i would’ve just stayed in my room during the big storms. bc of falling overboard and all that. or getting attacked by a giant squid. i’d have just hung out in my room :)

@sadspacequeer i’d make sure i had a room before we set sail

@_chase_____ Most sailors didn't have rooms they slept in hammocks in random areas of the ship 😭

imagine if michael b jordan just got up there and was like “im dropping the b”

@MatPancakes tie ❤️ (sry if it didnt work my powers feel weakened)

@_chase_____ Quick talk about a tie for best actress between Jesse and Rose

what happens if there’s a tie in a category at the oscars. do they go to penalty kicks

@_angelinnarose or wait no i that’s the past. sry im new to this

@_angelinnarose parasite

they should put the oscar on the ground in between all the nominees and let it decide who it wants to go home with. like air bud

@sosososoph5926 i think yeah

@_chase_____ U a psychic?

@vickiwhale focus

@_chase_____ how’d you know

@_angelinnarose idk i think i have powers but no one has trained me to use them

@_chase_____ how did you do that