elle

I need either a cat (money expensive) or a bf (emotions expensive) or a holiday (finance expensive) either way I’m in some sort of danger

problematic that josh homme has done some bad things and the new album is so mid and yet I’m still keen to fuck to it

Several post shift drinks in, writing a long apologetic note to tomorrow’s opener on a docket roll with with the spool still attached like a sacred scroll

@birdcardigan yeah but can they please only take my shit friends?

@ellerodeo we labor exploit their backpackers only fair they cop a few of ours

the biggest scam ever pulled by the UK is convincing Australians that London is a good place to move to

@UberEats_AU I’ve now lost TWO legends to that godforsaken headquarters of ruining the fucking world THIS YEAR and neither of them have even been there just to double check it’s not shit beforehand? Like?????

@ellerodeo London was the worst place I ever lived, Liverpool and Manchester were the absolute best shit compared to that overpriced shithole

every single boy I know has a parasocial relationship with a brand where they text them often as if they’re real friends and the ones who picked Grimace years ago are losing their minds right now

I know I’m getting good at mycology now cause a dude called me brother in his response to something I said in a mushroom forum

don’t do coke and have sex you’ll get a UTI

considering trying to be hot, only considering though so if I don’t achieve it I decided not to go through with it

can’t believe it took breaking someone else’s heart to make me realise how fruitless it was to try to convince my ex before this one to love me. we’ve kinda created a human centipede of unrequited longing

You should be able to pay for the bar tab with raw materials

I would like to have a low pressure, low risk, high reward romance now please. I love that I keep accidentally introducing friends to other friends who end up being the love of each others lives but also fuck off. I’m the main character.

all underwear is period underwear if you simply stop giving a fuck

my housemates have been trauma bonding over having to drown several mice a day thanks to a mild infestation and I have somehow managed to accomplish a vague feeling of being left out by this

*taylor swift voice* it’s a fuck connection baby just say yes