Elnathan John

Oh shit. The Financial Times talks about my book. I need to call my mummy. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

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@ronkelawal 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

We started watching this film and I had such a visceral reaction that it motivated me to lock in and finish some business tasks because there's no way Kevin Hart can be successful in this life and I'm there just watching like a mug. One of the worst films on Netflix.

Funniest set of words I have read this year.

Europe was like, we'll show you who really runs football. LOL.

@DoubleEph That is because they are not looking for a black person they can be equal with. They need a story, something they can marvel at. Like an exotic pet. Or a rare cultural artefact to brag about at dinner. By their own definition it is also a type of racism.

@elnathan_john They deserve each other and their disgrace together. I don’t know what it is about DEI that says you should hire an obviously incompetent person

If you want to hire a competent black person to a prestigious institution, it is not impossible to do. The problem here (and as with a recent case in America) is that they want a certain sort of black person. So you end up with shameful stuff like this

Tomi Adeyemi has no responsibility to represent anything. She is a writer. Writing young adult fantasy. There should be no obligation to carry a whole culture on her shoulder.

@afalli 🤣🤣🤣🙏

As a lawyer this is funny to me because this is taught in law school. No Nigerian lawyer who graduated in the past 25 years can claim not to know that "Barrister" is not a title. I laugh out loud when anyone introduces themselves as Barrister so and so.

I need to stop caring about what Americans do with Africa related stories. Because what are the Africans doing with their own stories? Some of us can barely get people, publishers and the general public to care about our own historical stories, but the moment an American touches it, Africans queue up to comment, consume and ululate. Meanwhile where is African money going? Is it building narratives? Investing in storytelling? Lagosians are always bragging about how many dollar millionaires they have. Where is any investment in the stories they are so proud about? Northern Nigeria is even worse, because those ones do not even care one bit. Apart from buying cars and gold not one of the wealthy educated people cares about their history, literature or art. They are more interested in proximity to Arab culture and society than their own past which they are mostly ashamed about, especially when it veers even slightly from Islam. I know how hard I am fighting just to get a historical novel set in the Sokoto Caliphate out. Yes I have not made it sexy and accessible like American stories are because I do not want to do that kind of storytelling. Because somewhere inside me I still hope that someone will care enough not to first think of whether this will "sell in the US" or Europe. We are slowly flattening storytelling so that it can be relatable to Americans and Europeans. What is that thing which is peculiar about our own type of storytelling? We say we care about craft and history and legacy but why are we so obsessed with how well we are liked and praised and consumed by Americans?

In this piece about the relevance of The Odyssey, Fiammetta Rocco writes about why people keep retelling this story. She writes particularly about Emily Wilson’s 2017 translation which appeared, “like one of Zeus’s thunderclaps, to part the clouds”. In the end, she writes, most of all, The Odyssey asks fundamental questions about what it means to be a man. Read this lovely piece by @FiammettaRocco here: prospectmagazine.co.uk/culture/74102/…

Chase down, torture and kill a petty thief, but kneel before and fellate those who brazenly loot, impoverish and destroy the country. A nation of serious minded people.

People have far less tolerance for mistakes or misbehaviour from those they consider ugly. If people think you are ugly, they will accept only the best behavior from you. The second you fuck up, you will learn about ugly features you did not even know you had.

@_koko_cee Will pass on 🤣🤣🤣

@elnathan_john Chef's kiss to your mommy

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@zumamalicious Yes. I like the spreading legs part. 😜😉

@elnathan_john Other times we spread legs.

Gallery owner took us to the backroom to see some paintings not on display yet. Nice.

@zumamalicious Will look out for them!

@elnathan_john Loool. Actually, you are right. Mama is always there and responsive. Will be sending out forms shortly.

My offspring has been going out by himself everyday without cash or card believing in his ability to text mama to make transfer. I find his trust in the network providers very interesting. How do you exist without a backup.

@abbati 😅😅😅

@elnathan_john Ah, master cut is soap na! 🔥

Sometimes, we cross our legs.