𝐌𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬

@reddit_lies GOD 🗣️ IS 🗣️ BIGGER 🗣️ THAN THE 🗣️ BOOGIEMAN 🗣️

VeggieTales is unfathomably based.

Okay fine fine- I forgive him.

“Jordan Love’s job is in danger” Malik Willis:

If you take your significant other to Mass for the first time, the priest is going to do something clinically unhinged that he’s never done before, and the whole ride home is just explaining that “no, they usually don’t sing in Nigerian for 5 minutes, I think that was just a Christmas thing”

My grandma wears this fit to church down to the cataract glasses

Playing Jonathan Taylor’s fantasy owner on Jonathan Taylor’s bye week is like getting a kiss from God on your birthday.

I can’t prove it, but this guy definitely married an AI

My engagement ring came at the low low price of $Free.99. It was his grandmothers engagement ring that she wore until her death. You couldn’t pry it off my finger for anything! When you’re sure about the guy, you’d happily say yes to a ring pop. But when it’s all for instagram… well. Good luck Charlie.

My wife’s engagement ring cost just $700 from JTV. She threw a small engagement party at home with her friends and proudly flaunted the ring on her Instagram page. The way she showed it off, you’d think it was a $10,000 ring. On our wedding day, I bought her a more expensive wedding ring, but what really stood out to me wasn’t the price…it was her attitude. She appreciated what I could afford at the time and never made me feel like it wasn’t enough. That’s something rare these days. Any woman who insists on an expensive engagement ring and refuses to accept one based on her man’s budget isn’t in love with the man…she’s in love with attention. She doesn’t care about you, your future together, or the meaning behind the ring. What she really cares about is showing off, competing with her friends, and earning validation online.

The thing that pisses me off about CornNuts is that I would totally eat horse feed if it was mexican street corn flavored.

@esjesjesj Michael Caine

I was thinking of actors who basically always play themselves but are also good. Who else is like this? So far I have -Samuel L Jackson -Jeff Goldblum -Jennifer Coolidge

Coding is clocking in every day to negotiate with the world’s most pedantic genie

Oh, you relate to *a fictional character*? …Or is it just because you *feel a regular human emotion*?

Man I love a humorous cognitive dissonance. Go absolutely buckwild for some irony. Give me the incongruity.

@Sola_Requiem Neither can I… it’s not out yet!!

I can’t read Pope Leo’s first papal encyclical.

@Fabrice_DW I gave the nice guy a chance and I’m married now.

Women who gave the "nice guy" a chance how it ended up. The replies are shocking😳👇

@JPeachyLiberty “Creature from Jekyll Island”

I am now the proud owner of a boat. Let me hear some name ideas?

Sabrina Carpenter is doing this fun reverse Taylor Swift thing where she gets more and more country as her career goes on.

@B23COD Is this what the kids are talking about when they say “humiliation ritual?”

Seth Rogen finishing moves all versions #BlackOps6

@WWNHost No, dipshit.

Is this true?