sweetbabymonkeys

...a firm handjob is worth a thousand tweets

i’m so lucky. my friends are th ebaddest bitches in the world

i hope the band mgmt has an interesting day

when they make me post on facebook for work

@jaxajueny i love north dakota we have to plant trees otherwise all our topsoil will blow away

2% tree… ok

what’s the over-under on bad bunny dwerking during the halftime show

The picture on the Wikipedia article for static cling, taken in 2006.

my boss is so strange. all he does is make weird groaning noises in his office, pee all over the toilet seat, then he leaves

listening to basketball on the radio and one of these kids last name is JENKUM

incheresting start to the day

what the hell is calvin harris up to. i feel like we let that cracker off too easy

PICKMIN

despite life’s many challenges, I continue to grow my army of Pickman, which is thriving, by the way

@glittergibbon kitten for christmas let’s gooo

the kitten my friend found abandoned :(( she is so tiny

@glittergibbon it’s their version of the straight man’s wifebeater

the evilest gay men wear black tank tops

clocked

@glittergibbon stay safe!

it looks like i’m not wearing pants

the Wickedly talented adele dazeem

i’m hanging on by a thread ☺️