Monkey

Dearest fans, the time has come for me to bid you a fond farewell as I embark on an extended social media break. Thank you for the endless support, I do love each and every one of you so very much. Keep it tea! Love, Monkey #ciaofornow #itsnotgoodbyeitsseeyoulater

I’m often asked what to do with forgotten cups of tea that have gone cold. In winter I like to put the mugs outside and wake up to an iced tea lolly #LifeHack

When does the aprés ski start?

How can it possibly be only Wednesday? Why won’t this week end? #backtowork #humpday

I should get up and get 2019 off to the best start OR I could just lay here all day. What to do, what to dooo? #HappyNewYear

Wishing you all a cracking good Christmas! #EatDrinkBeMerry #Christmas2018

Ahhh nothing beats the smell of home baked Christmas mince pies *clears throat*

Milk before water is a punishable offence. Who's with me?! #InternationalTeaDay

Christmas is all about giving … in to all sorts of wicked indulgences #NaughtyList

You haven’t celebrated Christmas until your own face is on an advent calendar. I hope no-one has tampered with the doors this year. Last year's brown, sticky substitute definitely wasn't chocolate... #December1st #Advent #christmasiscoming

It’s taken me the better part of a year but I finally finished my Christmas Wish List. What are you hoping to find under the tree this year? #ChristmasIsComing #AllIWantForChristmas #christmas

Public announcement: After increasing pressure from @EmmaBunton, @OfficialMelB, @MelanieCMusic and @GeriHalliwell, I shall now be performing in place of @VictoriaBeckham with the @spicegirls for their reunion tour next year ✌🇬🇧 #SayYoullBeThere #SpiceUpYourLife

Not entirely convinced this is safe...#BonfireNight #GuyFawkes #RememberRemember

Don’t know about you but I plan on Stayin’ Alive this this evening #Halloween #SaturdayNightFever #OnAWednesday

Went right back to the beginning of time and still can’t figure out this #DaylightSavings nonsense.

It only seems right that I end up on the new £50 note. Who’s with me, fans?

.@Nike I’m ready for my sponsorship deal when you are #MonkeyJordan #SlamDunk

Oh yes, definitely a fan of Jodie Whittaker as @bbcdoctorwho . I wonder if she’ll put in a good word for me next time? #DoctorWho

Ohhhmmmm. Ohhhmmmm. Oh nom nom nom.

Mary Poppins, I need your urgent assistance at administering a spoonful of sugar to help me get over this terrible sickness #ManFlu #MaryPoppins