weyes blood fan

@justaworm69 wait ur gods favorite again

would rather have a baby at an event than some of the ppl my friends are married to tbh… at least the baby is cute, your idiot husband is just pissing me off the whole time

uber driver right now is listening to talk radio and the hosts are talking about how bad they want a two way translator for dogs so they can communicate with them god i love the radio

straight up unless you are offering me at least 30% off you as an ebay seller need to stop sending me offers. idgaf about 10% be serious right now. give me the vintage gaultier for half off you moron i know it’s been sitting in your shop for 3 months

Per the Texas Democratic Party, nearly a third of Williamson and Dallas County voters are being turned away when they try to vote due to confusion over polling locations, caused by Republicans opting not to hold countywide unified Joint Primaries.

the most fun you could have as a gay child in 2009 was watching the soup

Developing a weed strain that only works on women and sends the rest of the population into an abyss from which. Not even God would peer into

@ecoterrorist420 this is basically a torture ritual for me

@flotustweet SPEAK ON IT

i was born to dance and smoke weed and cry at the beauty of life and take shots with my friends at the bar not “work my job” on a friday night…

I need 70 cocktails 40 xanax, sex, a spa, a massage, medical marijuana, a bath, an IV, a manicure, a cupcake and a hug

Was just in the gas station and saw nerds clusters and quietly whispered "girl kibbleeeeee" @flotustweet's influence is so vast

@a_tooloulou this is so beautiful i just ate girl kibble earlier today

2013 is about love. Dont kiss people 'ironically' this year. Look at them in the eyes and say "This is real" then press your lips into them.

@a_tooloulou come get some pho broth bby girl

@flotustweet I love love I love broth

my beautiful wife got me a lot of kitchen tools for christmas and now i’m making broths more beautiful and clear than you could ever imagine, so rich and flavorful and not an impurity in sight. to be known is to be loved

I HAVE NEVER AND WILL NEVER APOLOGISE FOR MY SEX LIFE ! GAY SEX IS NATURAL, GAY SEX IS GOOD! NOT EVERYBODY DOES IT, BUT.....HA HA!

i don’t believe in god but i am her favorite

Hard to remain patient with friends who focus solely on their own crucifixion. Get off The Cross, ladykins... we could use the wood!

@justaworm69 💗💗 lmk if you need anything love u tons

DALLAS: If you're around the Oak Cliff area, or don't mind driving, my grandma's neighbor has a trailer full of potatoes and a few onions (white & yellow) and he'll let you fill up a 5-gallon bucket for only $5 (Cash Only!) Feel free to retweet! 606 Highfall Drive, Dallas, TX