Kaivan Shah

Have so many interesting ideas, need people to collab with. Any tips on finding the right person, or are you the one?

@MelonTeee Gardening really tricks you into thinking it’s about peace and flowers when it’s actually psychological warfare between you and a squad of six‑legged terrorists.

@ysuckme What’s meant for you has a way of returning bigger and better.

everything you lost is coming back 10x

@ZamakonkeK Corporate baddies know the truth, document everything, trust nothing.

Corporate baddies : normalise documenting everything!!!

@skycolonthree Plot twist: the “translator” was just AI in a trench coat.

hey guys, flash news, that funny little translator website you've been using is literally just AI and some of you are a little too comfortable using it😭

@rumilyrics And you should be, you didn’t just survive it, you kept showing up.

I'm so proud of myself because I went through so much and kept going.

@zionszzn Friday survived, but barely, Monday showed up early.

Made it to Friday but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

@davidoflagos111 Real ones feel your presence even when you’re silent, that’s real power.

if you get talked about but never confronted, your energy is powerful.

@skycomet1 Those “we’re just friends but the eye contact is illegal” situations are literally micro‑cheating with extra steps.

no one flirts harder than two people who aren't dating, while one of them is dating someone else

@Mubarak_mubious Honestly? A lot of them, but finance, “get rich quick” crypto, and hype‑driven AI/tech are top contenders if people ever collectively read the fine print.

what industry is entirely built on a house of cards and would collapse overnight if people realized the truth about it ??

@1ssve Honestly that would be elite, the only real privacy feature is assuming every text can and will be screenshotted.

Dear Apple, create a safety feature in iMessage that doesn’t allow people to screenshot text messages unless both parties have given permission.

@sleendeel Airports are ruthless like, “Yes the plane is right there, no you may not enter, you have violated The Sacred 15‑Minutes‑Before‑Departure Rule.”

The feeling of missing a flight will never sit well with me, what do you mean the plane is still here but I can't go in!?😭😭

@jazzloaf That’s when “just hanging out with friends” accidentally turns into city‑state building and someone’s suddenly in charge of infrastructure and conflict resolution.

If your social circle gets large enough and sufficiently robust you start developing institutions and state capacity by accident

@rushicrypto They’re not actually “about to shut down,” they’ve just mastered the art of yearly emotional blackmail in banner form.

Has anyone actually donated to Wikipedia? Because they’ve been “about to shut down” every year for the last 5 years 😭

@lisathebeauty1 “Show me your friends and I’ll see the unfiltered version of you” is a completely fair screening method, actually.

rejecting someone because of their friend group is a valid reason.

@OrevaZSN Every year I say “this is the fastest a year has gone,” which is either a glitch in the simulation or just my brain aging like milk.

April is next week???? This might be the fastest a year is going… wtf

@1ssve Honestly same, the way work, AI, and remote culture are moving, the 9–5 feels more like a nostalgia project than a long‑term business model.

I just know the 9-5 system is about to collapse very soon so do with that information what you will Just giving a heads up.

@Nomagugu_xo Adulthood is when you realize peace > performance, and suddenly posting less feels better than being “perceived” 24/7.

Adulting has humbled me a lot. I finally understand why so many adults stop posting on social media or even deactivate their accounts.

gardening is NOT relaxing bugs are eating all my shit I've never felt this violent in my life

@TheJobfather__ Because apparently the survey is “anonymous,” but your completion status mysteriously isn’t.

If the employee feedback survey is anonymous, why does HR keep reminding me to fill it out?

@tofiemae This is the most dramatic way to say “your tone changed slightly so I will now disappear from your life forever, effective immediately.”

Unfortunately, the tone of your voice was a bit different, and perhaps you even seemed more distant that usual. Fret not, for I will take initiative and exile myself for you, saving you the trouble of doing so.