fua.txt

[SLAP] LANCASTER: Ow??? LOVE: NOW, SILENCE! I'm taking you to jail.

LOVE: Why don't you tell me what Team One's plans are? LANCASTER: Wh-what do you mean? We were gonna send me down on top of the elevator and then I'd go get the flag. LOVE: …Okay, other than that one.

One time when I was a kid, I saw my cousin get attacked by a raccoon that was hiding under his porch. Watching Agent Love kick the shit out of Robinson from Engineering was like watching that raccoon kick the shit out of my cousin.

If I have to read one of their reports, please tell them to stop writing vaguely mean things about the Records Department in them. Records is getting mad at me for reading them on air.

HARLEY: Want to go get shitfaced about it? RADDAGHER: Yes.

LOVE: Oh my god, what is the "Mushroom Incident?" HARLEY: Okay. So it started like this. Research got this fog machine.

I’m a waaaaaaaste of oxygen. I’m talking to myseeeellllllllfffffff. Nobody is liiiiiiiiistening to meeeeeeeeeee.

He has teeth the size of my fucking thumb!

RADDAGHER: There’s a huge lemon plant monster out there. [Pause.] LOVE: AND YOU DIDN’T THINK TO FUCKING LEAD WITH THAT?!

[Very weird energy in this room now] HARLEY: Oh! Okay. Um, is it anything you want to tell me about, or- LANCASTER: Personal stuff! It's- it’s a personal issue and y- you don’t need to be worried about it, it’s not a big deal.

DEAL! You’re not gonna regretthis, Klein, I’m gonna be the best trainer you’ve ever seen and we’re going to help people get all over so Security can take a break and it’s going to be SO COOL and he’s gonna be the BEST service anomaly in the WHOLE FOUNDATION and… and…

Maybe we did break the cycle. Just not in the way we wanted.

...Wait wait wait, back up. What do you mean when you say "INTO the wall?"

One success this cycle. One success is all I want.

MAYDAY! MAYDAY! MAYDAY!

I'm FINE! I made it to Kasey’s shrine TWICE! It barely even hurts to breathe!

RADDAGHER: He saved them. HARLEY: If it were me, LANCASTER: I guess it might actually be worth- KLEIN: Letting her- LOVE: (squealing) KEEP HIM?!

HARLEY: (site comm) Guys, it’s against the rules to pull alarms for the game- KLEIN: (also over site comm) BATTLESTATIONS, 107! EYES ON THE VENTS, WE GOT DASH TWOS ON THE MOVE! LOADS OF ‘EM!

CAN SOMEBODY GET HIM OFF OF ME-?!

Right now it looks like 90% of the TV content we have is Klein’s extensive anime collection. I’m accepting that I’ll soon have encyclopedic knowledge of several pieces of media, including Dragonball Z.