Hustle_and_Bussell

My daughter found my stash of VHS porn and I had to explain what VHS is

All my friends have cool diagnoses (ADHD etc) but all I have is eczema 😞

My wife wanted a Star Wars poster for the bedroom. Which is cool, except the last thing I see at night and the first in the morning is @HamillHimself ‘s phallus

I bet that small breasted women are losing a lot of sleep over those poor women with big tits

@TobbeStrom I heard they’re changing their name to NOPP! Wocka Wocka!

cOOPS!

Just got added to my first message thread with comics in several months and I’m already annoyed

An organization responsible for maintaining the timeline? Love the new season of @UmbrellaAcad I mean @LokiOfficial !

Now that I have covid I’m farting a lot which no one ever talks about so I guess many people died from embarrassment

Suddenly have a high fever and dry hacking cough. This had better be covid or @EViding will be calling me a whiny bitch for several months

Why all home invaders in ads white dudes who look lost and/or embarrassed?

Congrats Italy with your cover of Shout at the Devil! #Eurovision2021

How bad is Brexit that the UK got 0 points but Israel got plenty? #Eurovision2021

Globen is now called Avicii Arena and ticket prices are slashed

Hello, Swedes. God here. I appreciate that you have a four-day weekend to acknowledge the day my Son (who is also Me... it's complicated) returned to Heaven, but I know you just want days off work. See you in Hell!

I don’t believe in a God who would make me look good in black but also give me eczema. #flaky

My boss just said “Many people are allergic to latex” and I didn’t tell her the joke that came to mind because I’m a grownup apparently

Americans want to be extraordinary, Swedes want to be extra ordinary.

@blandfers @EViding I don’t want to assign labels but she did grow up in Hässelby so

Get you a wife like @EViding who grows potatoes in the bedroom I guess