gary bruns

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except for one person.

@RealJamesWoods Name ads that dont age well (or have a double meaning)

In their own words…

@drewhastings @Geniustechw Very well said (written)

As a retired standup who did close to 30 years out there, I will venture my opinion on why almost all female comedians are not funny. First and foremost, stand-up comedy is a very aggressive act and usually confrontational in some way. Women, but their very nature are nowhere near as aggressive and confrontational as men. And so when they are doing stand-up, they are trying to be aggressive, assertive, and combative which are all helpful traits in stand-up but usually not innate qualities in women. It’s a little similar to a trans person wanting to be a man but in the end, they aren’t really only a simulation.

I’ll go first… Seth Rogan

@AntiLeftMemes Im going to teach them how all immigrants can enter the United States legally and work to become a legal citizen

“I have a quick question for anyone who voted for DONALD TRUMP." "What are you gonna tell your child when they come home from school crying because their best friend was just taken out of their classroom by an IMMIGRATION AGENT?"

@honeymoon250 Are you insane?

They said it's because he has wisdom like Solomon in the Bible, unlike President Trump. Solomon never went to war because of his wisdom. Do you agree that Biden was a wiser president than Trump?

@lizzkelly7 Finders keepers Losers weepers

I found $23,000 in cash taped under my landlord’s broken washing machine. He died last week. Now his daughter is clearing out the building, telling everyone to make sure everything is “disposed of properly.” She has no idea it exists. No note. No explanation. Just money… hidden like it was never meant to be found. And now I’m stuck with a question no one prepares you for: What do you do with something that technically isn’t yours… but no one else even knows is missing?

@ChloeMaeLemons 0

How many pounds should I lose? Be honest

@femalebodybuil6 Hell yes we saw sam brinton

Do you believe Karoline Leavitt’s photo is suitable for someone serving as White House Press Secretary? 🥰

@PeteButtigieg Wrong

When he launched this war, the President vowed regime change and “unconditional surrender.” What has he gotten? We went from Ayatollah Khamenei to Ayatollah Khamenei Jr. - and are now negotiating over a 10-point plan written by the Iranians. This war has made America weaker - and less trusted on the world stage.

@Blueverse01 Nope

Marco Rubio is losing to Kamala Harris in a potential matchup, according to a new poll. The poll shows Harris with the lead. Do you think this could actually happen?

@Darkdarling00 B

Do you still consider Joe Biden one of the best leaders of our time? A. Absolutely 👍 B. No, one of the worst

@Darkdarling00 Dr. Honeydew

Name a doctor you trust more than Dr. Jill Biden!!

@LucasSa56947288 Hell no

Would you support Pete Buttigieg’s run for president? (A: Yes (B: No

So what would you call this Presidential Team?

Inflation has tripled from just one month ago, and it’s higher than when he took office. Not only has Trump failed to deliver on his central campaign promise to make life more affordable - he is actively, directly driving prices up.

@CliffW08950229 Let's not forget who tried to murder ICE agents (same photos)

Let's not forget who ICE murdered.

@Milajoy YES and I have MS degree in education! DOE was and is worthless

Liberal woman has a question for 77 MILLION that voted for the current administration.. “Did you vote for the Department of Education to be dismantled?" What would you say to her?

@Martina NOT drafted but registered. Might be good for all to save 1 year and know what sacrifice for a great country means!

@Matt_Pinner A high 10

She's a 10 but she smokes weed. What's she???

@carlyjill31 Tell me that you like me (Rufus)

Tell me something good