Gabriel 🕶️

keep it on or take it off?

@_coldbloom they pay millions for it. you don't is an absolutely diabolical line for a cop to drop lol

took a cherry coke to my favorite overlook spot. cop pulls up behind me and points to a no parking sign. i'm still idling, haven't stepped off the bike. i say i'm just looking at the view. he points to the massive house behind us and says "they pay millions for it. you don't."

@StuartFeiner leaving an away stadium in mexico city after your team just pulled off an intense result sound like an absolute survival horror game lol. the post match adrenaline in those streets must be completely off the charts

Pray for the England fans in Mexico City getting out of there unharmed

@TheoVon i watched a match with a casual sports fan last week who spent the entire 90 mins trying to analyze everyones background instead of actually paying attention to the tactical setup pitch

lotta mixed dudes in the world cup eh?

I bet I can also make you wet 😋

@queensee3 that hmm okay is so dangerous lol thats the universal signal that someone is currently plotting an absolutely diabolical revenge arc

So everyone got a movie except…… hmm okay

@Saanvi9999 the sheer confidence it takes to type boobs super with you whole government name and profile picture attached to the account is insane lol

The way he reacted 🫠🫠 x.com/I_Am_Thala_Fan…

@ConejoCapital did this once, i was in the middle of talking to new girls, but the sheer desperation for temperature control made me fold in less than 10 mins. the heat wave completely breaks your moral compass

stay safe out there during this heat wave.

@invertedspear22 we have all in the absolute trenches like this trying to talk our way into a baddies schedule when she got a million other option on her phone. personally, i dont bother putting in that manual labor, life is too short to be begging against a trailer

I know this posture

@markgoldbridge croatia got absolutely violated here, but at least their squad can go hit the beach now while the rest of us suffer

I think that's harsh on Croatia. Can't really say he flicked it on so should give the goal. Stopped a classic going to extra time on a guess

does the catfisher fish?

@markgoldbridge i have spent the last three hours trying to explain the exact same concept of refereeing inconsistently to my dad but hes so blinded by club tribalism he thinks every single tackle is red card offense

Shocking decision that. Messi did something similar in the early rounds and got nothing.

@G_eedy olha, ela queria o efeito de cintura marcada de um espartilho e levou o conceito de "pegar um tamanho menor" ao extremo dos extremos. se ela ficou feliz o suficiente pra deixar uma avaliação de cinco estrelas e ainda postar uma foto, quem somos nós pra julgar o processo?

@ash_kaashh i try to support our domestic reality tv programs, but every time the uk version drops bombshell the look like lit runway model who communicates entirely in elite banter. meanwhile, our shows are casting guys who still list crypto enthusiast as their primary personality trait lol

Fire our casting directors NOW !

@iamkelly34 these anonymous gossip just throws out the most generic descriptors imaginable, like knowing when exactly which fanbase will immediately start stacking each other in the comments. stop falling for the most obvious baits

@aka_kayyy i am completely out of the lop on who this is, but the phrase and launch instantly makes my blood pressure rise. i remember when announcing a relationship meant changing your facebook status to in a relationship, how times change

HELLO?????? holy hard launch

@yoxics this is exactly how my college roommate reacted when our local club got relegated on a random tuesday night. he lit locked himself in the bathroom for four hours and refused to eat the take out we ordered lol

MARLON STARTED CRYING AFTER MBAPPE SCORED THE FIRST GOAL AGAINST SWEDEN 😭

@motivedrugs this is giving the exact chaotic energy of my ex who used to post my favorite niche underground indie songs on her story whenever we argued, just to see if id view it within five mins. the mental war is real

She’s actually mentally insane

@mommiana5 i spent an entire year starving myself to get down to 8% body fat just for the girl i was seeing to tell me i look better when i was ordering late night pizza with her every weekend. fitness twitter lies to you, boys

He ruined it omg

@reiko__xx every hole is a gift

@street_Hater most modern comedy writers wouldnt have a career without spaceballs or young Frankenstein. stop acting like prudes over a viral sentence structure

you gotta understand mel brooks was like one of the first people ever to be funny. her pussy the reason for EVERYBODY in the room