Geoffrey Haggerty

Guy who invented cold cuts eating charcuterie: “i wish this was soaking wet”

So many of you are psyched about Dune 3 when I’m psyched about

VERY excited to see “Bad Pedophile”, the new important documentary from @theonion about Geoffrey (sp?) Epstein IN THEATERS TONIGHT! Also very honored that they are showing Sex House after it, a thing I directed in 1990 I think. Remember, cloudy drink kills frog!

@KristerJohnson Also cope

@geoffhaggerty I lived in NYC for 20 years. I’m happy for Knicks fans. It’s just a shame this generational franchise milestone will always have a big asterisk next to it due to the Tatum injury :(

Knicks fans to heading to the bars after the game

Hammer. Do NOT hurt them. If you so much as harm one hair on their heads...

27 WORLD TITLES BABY YANKEES RULE RUTH GEHRIG DIMAGGIO JETER LETS GO YANKEES LETS GO YANKEES (end)

@joshgondelman NO

R.I.P. to Bizzy (2007-2024), the squishiest little goblin who ever lived. We loved you so much!

@barry as always the answer is "do both"

This is broadly true but underestimates how much joy can be found in hating

1:52 on a Thursday, easily a record for me!

Watermelon spice latte

Happy birthday to Donald trump and my daughter! Also my son was born on September 11

@azalben Nbd

not to worry everyone, my kid's montessori school is "investigating" a possible earthquake

@rexparker @jilltwiss My liege!

@geoffhaggerty @jilltwiss I got stuck on BBBB because BHBB felt so right!

Rizzolli and Niles (from Frasier)

Brunch, the time when French toast and brussel sprouts get to hang out

I became a father last year so I’m now legally allowed to say “Daddy likey.”

(broke Southern belle) I DO declare bankruptcy