gmail god

my age fluctuates @wellsfrago #SmoshPorn

@TheRealGDColon slob

ok fine i'm making it

scubadiving for wrestlers

I use salami to cover my smile

@girlwhteverr Only fools serving 20 years for financial fraud still fall for this

Whats your password

If I taught a gerbil archery they would call me crazy

@spongbobfan369 Only if you let me do my signature move

Get off my lawn

@charmconfetti They tried to put me in isolation because I was "paranormal", so I guess I couldn't help you

how hard is it to be normal nowadays

I engraved the Qur'an on as little chopsticks as I could

@computerangeI And I want to be treated like a king

i want to hurt you

Raccoon with hypothermia throwing up gang signs

I should try tying my shoe while backflips

Eat your grapes already

Inventing new shapes at the beach

@Willie600640663 deserved

They’re training me.

@ropefuel Dance in silence until you break a joint

does anyone know what we should do

@rileyapparently Making a ringtone using only fruits

what is anyone doing. like in general

@vamp1bella Impossible

describe yourself in ONE word

Sofa with rocket boosters

@pisslungs One day humans will feel the importance of my statements

Why do you tweet

@ankyhaidy Eat veggies with people you have something in common with

how do i get more opinions