i am mentally sane

idk how im going to return to work on monday. i feel bad that people are made uncomfortable when they look at me. i feel even worse that its bad representation for trans women. i dont want to be perceived anymore. i want to become homeless and wander into a forest to die alone

@Rogerloverboy99 i dont exclusively get treated like im ugly online. i also dont care about the words, they just confirm what ive been telling myself for years. i have no reason to be upset at anyone besides myself. i can't fault the way people react when it's my problem for looking the way i do

@grayyse thats cope its almost like you wanna be ugly, or enjoy being perceived as ugly. You just have an average face. You have pretty eyes and hair. People on the internet are just overly mean and you seem to be taking it way too personally.

this is why ive sworn off dating and committed to dying alone bc who the fuck is going to want to be in a relationship with an ugly tranny. like not only r u not a real girl but u look chopped as fuck on top if it all

@Rogerloverboy99 if people are calling you mid you're ugly as fuck like im sorry lmao. average people don't get responses like that nor do they fall under the phenotype that gets transvestigated

@grayyse not ugly, just mid, with potential. I personally wouldn’t complain about that.

@Rogerloverboy99 yes i am x.com/grayyse/status…

@grayyse you arent ugly

its become a point where im starting to get physically sick from seeing anybody who isn't ugly

i really want to kill myself

it's why attractiveness plays an equal part in passing. society as a whole is more forgiving towards clocky yet attractive trans women compared to unattractive trans women. attractiveness also tends to signal more amounts of femininity

this ignores that cis women are still proportionally women and that even the truly unfortunate looking ones get transvestigated. it's still dysphoria to have a need for a more conventional looking body because the less conventional ones are conflated with masculinity

i wish i wasn't so unknowledgeable about my face and that it wasn't so busted so i'd know what to get done to be made pretty and be able to pass. reddit is useless and i feel like i have to turn into a lolcow by posting my face in normie subs to get actual advice

@bittermoder i love hating pretty people

“you just hate/envy anybody who’s prettier than you”

i can't get charli out of my head

@Chickenguy_2 @FAUXOTHER potency doesn't go down by that much after expiration tbh

@FAUXOTHER Why do you need that many, surely they will begin to expire before you can use them

Maybe these “real women” should get some real motion

@PreciselyPosit1 @labubu_funkopop i mean no not necessarily. measurements don't mean everything, u can have a small frame and still be fucked proportionally

@labubu_funkopop It at least tells you that your hangups aren’t entirely about dysphoria; it means you’ve made it to some extent if you’re there, I think.

seeing real cis girls have the same hangups about their appearance as me rather than just a hypothetical does make me feel better for a brief moment and then i feel guilty about it because i feel like "i shouldn't be feeling better because of someone elses suffering"

@TrishCosmicBard hard to miss when a hulking 50 year old twice my size comes tumbling through my notifications

@grayyse imagine coming to see me

@TrishCosmicBard imagine if you weren't balding and didn't have to wear ugly misfitting wigs to hide your receding hairline

@grayyse Imagine you scrawled this on a piece of paper that you threw away instead of sharing it with the world

i hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate being uglyi hate b

@marloweloring ive been cutting my bangs recently and theyre okayish. i want to go back in and get layering done and dye it blonde though but cba lately

@grayyse just over a year for me, i gave myself blunt bangs but cut them waaaaay the fuck too short. turned out ok eventually but i just let them keep growing back into curtain bangs

i havent cut my hair in a year and a half

@googlymooglygee i want to live in the chopped universe and be with my people

like iirc the only 2 people in this pic who were actively transitioning at the time was claris and the one second closest on the right

seeing this picture post-transition makes me laugh bc i always forget that at least 90% of the people in this picture are either babytrans or not on hrt