petrie grumbleshanks 💨💢

and for the record…it is PETRIE not PEETREE!!! #gnometwt

i prefer a hawk to a falcon if something were to sweep me off my feet and eat me

thread on why @dimbuckle is actually a succubus who wants the blood of my penis 🧵

i know twelve gnomes in a trench coat type beat when i see one

gnome multitasking: Pooping, reading and fertilizing all at the same time

lost my job as a bridge troll because my riddles were “weirdly personal” and “why are your ankles like that?” isn’t a riddle

It's a fine bowl, aye, but I'd hardly call it a super bowl.

the hags are playing around in the human plane again i see. i never approved of their antics. but she is looking rather attractive #EMMYs

penis and burgina

@dimbuckle tsk merrug .., soiling christmas yet again… i’ll grab my eagle harpoon machine gun missile bazooker

AAAAAGHHHHHH AAHHH AAAHHHHHHHH AAAGHHHHHHH AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!&/&2@/&&/3&/&/9

we're here for the #creepy we're here for the #weird...

@JulipPinklebelt @GnomiousBobo @gnomepuddlefen okay.

current enchanted forest swag rankings: 1: Pibble "Sexpants" Hobblehort 2: @GnomiousBobo 3: Me 4: DJ Gnomicron 5: @gnomepuddlefen

@dimbuckle @gnomepuddlefen merrug you were not supposed to see this

@grumblygnome @gnomepuddlefen petrie withhold yourself

necromanced skeleton warrior who is merely decorative during the day, comes to life at night and wreaks havoc on tall legs

my favorite part about being a gnome is that one cheesy roll up from taco bell can feed me and my wife for a week

Mushrooms 👍 Ernie Keebler 👎

bartlby you have to stop. you smoke too tough. your swag too different. your bitch is too bad. they’ll kill you

@kinggarfus i know that’s right

@placeholderaen @gnomepuddlefen This is wonderful news actually

fun fact: gnomes can speak to forest animals, this doesn’t necessarily mean the animals have any idea what we’re saying to them tho, for example i’m currently telling an owl to not hoot so loudly tonight, but she’s just staring at me like i have five heads

@carbon_mostly i will find my way into your home

We need a wizard sweep on this, teach those gnomes a lesson they wont soon forget.