Hailey Collier

Instead of selective service for the military, we need to draft people into construction. All this roadwork would get done much faster if people had some skin in the game.

Laughing really should burn way more calories

Just gonna start Peaky over and pretend that wasn’t the ending 🫠

I love everything Jason Bateman does, but it’s tough to watch him in sexual situations in this new show 😅

Feeling your nipple cover slip off in public is the new sock slipping down in your shoe

The fact that the 1920s drop waistline is trending tells me that a war on Big Ass™️ is on the horizon 😒

My mom loves saying “long story short” after telling every single detail of the entire story

“Do you have coke? Not the *sniff* kind. The drink kind”

Nobody is more bold and confident than a man calling to say “you didn’t give me my assignment 😠” after just having ended the meeting during which you spoke at length about said assignment 🙃

I need 10 more seasons of Ponies immediately

Tried to make a healthy pasta dish with the devil’s yogurt aka cottage cheese. Spilled 2/3 of it all over the floor before I could get it into the oven 🙃 That was divine intervention if I’ve ever seen it

@casey_tilson We’ve got to start filming you at all times

If 2016 is back, I’m bringing my chokers & sock bun

“You have to turn the flash on because I’m brown”

Where’s the “tweet to close friends” option

Days since I’ve accidentally replied “you too!” when someone tells me to enjoy my food: 0

@casey_tilson He must’ve been youngish because if he was old, you would’ve cried and let him have your seat

@casey_tilson Welcome back 🇺🇸

“Rumspringa” -Casey referring to her time in Europe

@casey_tilson Admitting to spousal abuse 📸