incorrect halflives

this goes for everyone btw 👀 if you have any fun ideas, dm me directly so i can post and credit you, or tag me so i can rt it 🖤 this account is a pack project!

friend: what are you good at? me: me: denial 🫠 actually very good at it

what fede thinks vs. what he he looks like really looks like

Mom: “what did you learn today?” Child: “teacher Linda taught us how to make pasta” @halflflives

linda, sighing dramatically: men don't even open car doors anymore oscar, visibly confused: how else am i supposed to get in then

fede: you have such an excellent taste in clothes linda: of course i do. i didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing.

cop: do you know how fast you were going? i hope you don't drive like that with your kid in the car! oscar: huh? cop: *motions to the "BABY ON BOARD" sticker* oscar: oh no... i'm... cop: oscar: i'm... cop: ? oscar: i'm baby. cop: oscar: cop: that'll be a fine of 500€

fede, hungover: my head is killing me linda: not fast enough fede: huh?

oscar: what do you see in the clouds? linda: years of unregulated carbon emissions causing climate change that will affect the next generation much more than the people who refuse to change. oscar: linda: oscar: i see a puppy.

girl: hey wanna come over ;) linda: i can't, i have to hide a body girl: haha my boyfriend isn't home linda: yea i know

fede: yeah, i was annoying when i was 19. who wasn't? fede: and yeah, i was also annoying at 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29... linda: last week. yesterday...

linda: i was always told i could be whoever i wanted linda: turns out, i can't because "identity theft is a crime" linda: i am very upset right now.

margaux: what are your guys' new years resolutions? linda: french probably margaux: you already speak french tho?? linda: oh sorry i thought you said revolution-

oscar: my strength comes from community fede: my strength comes from friendship linda: well MY strength comes from my sacred amulet 😌

linda: music business is just like a lifelong game called "do my friends hate me or do i just need to go to sleep"

oscar: hey, have you seen my flamethrower? linda: no... why do you need a flamethrower?! oscar: oh, you know, yard work...

linda: how the hell do i talk to people oscar: just stand in front of them and press A

oscar: i want a unicorn for christmas linda: maybe something more realistic? oscar: how about the re-release of the OVER songs? linda: linda: what color unicorn?

oscar: i'm claustrophobic fede: what is that? linda: it means he's afraid of santa claus oscar: that's not wha- fede: ho ho ho linda: STOP IT YOU'RE SCARING HIM

broke: last christmas by wham! woke: last christmas by crazy frog bespoke: Last Crhsitmas by halflflives feat. THE UMA

fede: margaux?! how did you find me? margaux: oh, you know. i saw a huge explosion and wondered, "now, who could that be?"