90,000 unread emails

@notcapnamerica Maybe for their organs but that’s it

What is the obsession suburban white women have with supposedly being trafficked in a Wal Mart parking lot? No one’s checking for you, Diane.

@lachancenaomi27 I was screaming Clinique…Yes, I yell during jeopardy like it’s sportsball

No one on jeopardy knew this $1000 question

@PineWoodsRunner I would happily pay for this

Side hustle: one of my daughters is a SAHM & she cooks 2 weeks of meals for a professional single guy. She makes the menu, does the shopping, makes the meals & gives him a price he pays.

@marvranger_ @Isaiah_Jaay I thought so too for like 3 seconds

@Isaiah_Jaay am i the only one thought Richard got his sex changed ?

HIS AND HERS ON NETFLIX 🍿 LMFAOOOOOOOO THIS MESSED ME UP IN THE HEAD 😭 IDC SHE NOT WRONGGGGGG , THEY DESERVED EVERYTHING THEY GOT , PLAY WITH SOMEBODY ELSE LMFAO I WAS GAGGED THO , NO LIE 😭😭😭 (Correction: Meg was Jack’s niece , not daughter) #hisandhers #netflix #isaiahjaay

@brischh And a whole week still to go…see yall on January 5

I cannot believe some of you have not been to work since Wednesday

@SanM046 @TheCinesthetic The way I screamed “dammit they got an ice dragon”

name a scene you'd give anything to witness again for the first time

@RizomaSchool They fed us pizza and milk in school

everyone in the 90s drank milk with basically every meal

@CommeDesHazons @Doeyppp Thank you!!!!!

@Doeyppp Can turn it off bby! Press the cog whilst watching a vid and tap auto scroll to off!

Twitter needs to sort out its autoplay with videos. I was showing my family a cute video of some penguins and …

@jiggyjayy2 He’s still a cutie. What are they on about?

Men turn into such catty haters when women collectively find a man attractive LMFAOO

@Shankballs He doesn’t even have the gravitas of a wise but weary king trying to get home. Just bland…reading the lines and collecting the money. And Pattinson…ugh

My problem with The Odyssey is that Matt Damon doesn’t posses the beauty or aura to lead a Greek fantasy movie ✌🏾

@brandilwells School buses now pickup kids from Hotels in my area….a lot of kids not just 1 or 2. they’ve lived there so long it’s now they’re registered address

This woman and her husband live in a hotel for $307/week, which includes heat, electricity, cable, WiFi, housekeeping, etc. Although more affordable, it’s a strong indictment of the U.S. economy.

@jaybsauceda Preach.

Texans have an intentional food safety blind spot when it comes to tamales. We would never buy a hamburger out of a trunk of a car. No back of a bike chicken. Or soup from a backpack. Or anything else cooked by a stranger with no explanation. But tamales? All suspicion disappears. A cooler shows up. No signage. No credentials. No origin story. We don’t ask questions. We ask how many dozen. This isn’t an accident. It’s a choice. Everyone has a tamale person. A lady from church. A guy in a parking lot. A coworker’s aunt selling out of her trunk. Even with H-E-B and legit online ordering, we still trust the cooler more than the store. We'd get into a fistfight over how good the tamale hookup we have is. It’s December, peak tamale season. I had a guy show up at my house several weeks ago while I was home sick. I checked my Ring camera and all I saw was a short Mexican guy with a slide-top Igloo cooler. I knew exactly what he was there for. I said hello on the intercom. Told him I was sick. He asked if I wanted any tamales. I was devastated, I had to say no. I didn't want to give him the flu. But I was adamant he come back next time he was selling. Will I ever see him again? Maybe. Maybe not. Do I know where he gets them? Absolutely not. Will I buy some if he ever comes back? You betcha.

@GrantSlatton My movie was the little mermaid. My sister was a land before time addict. Other sister had a brave little toaster phase. We operated the vcr ourselves. Watch. Rewind. Repeat. And those are just the ones I remember. No telling what other Disney movie abuse we inflicted on ppl

i know so many parents whose kids watch Frozen or some other movie literally every day, for months at a time feels like this was not a thing among kids in the 90s obviously pressing 'play' is so easy, but rewinding a VCR isn't hard either what explains?

@THEHORRORGOTH I need to watch this show again. It’s been too long

remember on Desperate Housewives when Bree dated a sex addict just for him to sleep with her teenage son..

@MrPitbull07 People used to collect them for the covers alone

@MissSassbox But did you see Nia long’s IG post with him?

Colonel Sanders better stop playing me before I bless him with the very first biracial heir for Yellowstone Ranch. He can leave the shades on so I can fog them accordingly.

@karithesaint Please shut up.

@kirawontmiss It’s the state drink of Texas

who the FUCK is out here keeping Dr. Pepper in business

@Milesm31 @iamagolfguy The scream I scrumpt when I got to the last pic 😂

@iamagolfguy I went down a quick rabbit hole bc apparently the avg media consensus is that it's a lie but let's be fr lol

@ImSoClassic Yes we do

I WONDER DO GIRLS LOOK AT US AND BE LIKE "I'D LET HIM HIT”