Hank Mallard

@nstr_atm 👏👏👏

@nstr_atm Is this a oil shock bit?! 🤣🤣🤣

Why are 300 planes sitting on the tarmac at DCA rn…

@nstr_atm I'm sure the Irish Coffe in Boston will warm you right up!🤪🤪🤪

Yes, I will wear my floor length trench coat on the plane bc I am freezing and Boston is kind of miserable this time a year.

@nstr_atm 👀👀👀👀👀

@nstr_atm I decree an exception on this instance or simply become Lucifer

@nstr_atm Sub suboptimal?!

@nstr_atm 🤣🤣🤣🤣

My real friends ask me how Mona is doing before the ask me how I’m doing.

@nstr_atm 🤞🤞🤞🤞

One can only hope. Fingers crossed.

@nstr_atm Maybe get a cheap burner to house mytsa app so they don't have access to your actual phone?🤣

For those who travel a lot like myself, mytsa app is worth the download to check tsa wait times, but also they may now have access to my entire phone now. Oh well.

@nstr_atm 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I will never try to change your mind. Do you boo boo. Don’t tread on me.

@nstr_atm 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’m sorry. 😢 Please accept my apology.

@nstr_atm Yes! You need something with horsepower!

Uber offering me a free bike unlock bc it wants to see me dead on the rainy streets of dc tonight. I see you, uber.

@nstr_atm 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Tweet like you’re enlisting tomorrow. Let’s go.

@nstr_atm ✈️✈️✈️✈️

The thing abt insomnia is watching all these strikes in the last year play out live on twitter.

@nstr_atm Edible Floral arrangement?!🤣🤣🤣

You can buy your friends flowers on Uber Eats today.

@nstr_atm Which one?😅 There are so many that's hard to keep track of these days!

What are the lies we tell ourselves…?

@nstr_atm Starting the week strong with the right foot

Starting the work week strong by only packing my left high heel.

@nstr_atm Perhaps a bit of hands on approach?!🤣🤣

Guy next to me on flight has one mimosa and is now singing loud enough for me to hear through my headphones. Will be a long 4+ hours.

@nstr_atm Yes! Stay in the Know while stay in the Shadow!🤣🤣

New fave phrase in rotation lately, “Please feel free to move me to bcc.”

@nstr_atm Snow tires help! But also sage advice from the legend help too!

It’s still icy out there even with AWD - I type after seeing someone driving an Escalade straight fail at making his turn and slide into a fixed trashed can on the sidewalk, then not be able to free himself. Embarrassing. Pedestrians be careful. These jokers are out here joking.