Harry 'Salad' Martin

No more emails. If you need to reach me you need to bring me a coffee and lure me to you, like bringing a duck bread at the pond

interviewing people on ket outside the palace at 3am should be a regular feature on the news

my dog scrolling through all the pics on my camera roll

Does anyone else ever experience this? 🧠 💥 #introvert #sensoryoverload #bialikbreakdown

WE ARE EUROPEAN CHAMPIONS! 🤩🏆

Imagine doing your shift in Sainsbury's and one of Rishi's advisors comes over to see you if they can borrow your car. "One of the managers says you have a normal car, like a Kia or something? Like some sort of loser car?"

how all youtube ads sound to me

My favourite kid I ever taught when I was a swim teacher was this little 4-year-old Italian boy. One time he sneezed and nobody said anything so he just went “what? No bless yous for Giacomo?”

🍽 Chip Inn Fish Bar 🐟 Home to the finest catches, on the other side of Holloway Rd. 🧤 Isn't that right, @AaronRamsdale98? #ArsenalSupportingSupporters

@HarrietDunlea Yes we had to!

It’s not a date. Happy Valentine’s Day everyone 😍

I studied the greatest YouTube football thumbnails ever. Here's what I learned. A very serious and important thread:

Wordle 210 3/6 ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛🟩🟩⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

I fucking live for unhinged Victorian Christmas cards. Some years I just share the terror with friends, and others I choose to spread the chaos. This year I pick the latter. Let’s start with the truly inexplicable. Frog + beetle waltz Sky jellyfish Mutant beet-man GOAT 🧵

No,your right 🙈I saw them going in but I thought it was just a meeting 😂🤣

“They’re asking us to define a cautious snog”

#AccidentalPartridge twitter.com/martinmccluske…