Rodney Hatfield Jr.

Every 10 years, the Pen and Quill Society, a group dedicated to the art of storytelling, hosts "The Contest." 10 contestants are invited to a competition where they must read their original horror stories aloud to the group for a million dollars and life. amazon.com/Bloodstain-Qui…

@funcartun Nah we were just not dumb enough to do the thing we saw They were stopped showing because they made weapons familiar. Easier to make a person comply when the sight of a gun gives them a panic attack. Popeye is bad because he didn't run to an authority figure for help.

Cartoons from this era were not made for children 😛🎬

Work hard so you can retire early and enjoy your golden years of doctor visits and regret.

My therapist says I have trust issues, I told her I trust the reaper more than most people I know.

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What if the most important moments in life are the ones no one ever notices? In a quiet town called Present, Pastor Cris Noel wakes up each morning with the same simple thought: another day alive. amazon.com/dp/B0GX7N1GQJ

A big collection of clean, wholesome jokes, stories, antics, & life lessons straight from the heart of Appalachia. This book brings together funny tales, wisecracks, and hard‑earned wisdom gathered from front porches, family gatherings, and country living. amazon.com/dp/B0H218VJF3

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I may not be famous. Or even that attractive. Same thing with being successful. But I can promise you someone’s therapist knows about me.

Freelance writing means you are always one invoice away from feeling like a professional adult and one rejection away from wondering why you got out of bed.

I am not normal, because normal is boring. I come with sarcasm. Dark humor in places most people pretend do not exist. And questionable life choices with a personality that really needs a warning label, and fine print.

Received word that my particular brand of directness might be costing me friends. On the bright side I have already cleared my schedule for the imaginary funeral and there is plenty of room on the bus if anyone else wants a ticket.

The Bloodstain Quill: Hatfield Jr., Rodney: 9798309038879: Amazon.com: Books In ebook and paperback.

They call me deranged, a fractured fool, But madness is my kingdom, my only rule. Every twitching line, each shattered rhyme, The writhing chaos of a lunatic’s mind. Bleeding raw horror onto every page. My pen carves scars, my paper weeps, In the cradle of chaos, sanity sleeps.

Not everyone gets the same version of me. One person will tell you I am a kind and thoughtful soul. Another will tell you I am the devil himself and need therapy. Believe them both. I don’t treat people badly, I treat them accordingly.

I am what you would call me a urinary writer. I want my stories to make you lose control of your bladder. Whether it’s from sheer terror or uncontrollable laughter. If you make it to the end dry, I haven’t done my job.

As a freelance writer I sell words by the pound, but the best ones I keep for myself in notebooks that smell like West Virginia rain and forgotten tea.

@ThePigsBack1 So do the submissions open today or what.

f you ever need me, I will be there. There is a 99.9% chance I’ll be running late. I may be a little drunk. I may have a groundhog with me, and he might be a wee bit tipsy too. But I will still show up. Me and the groundhog. We’ve got you.