holley housewife

@ahgastrophe_ He’s so thick here I need to bite himmmm

no, my male idol went viral for serving too much in the military

@raebeesNSFW I’ve never had a unique experience it seems ((horny bots STAY BACK I’m a kept woman))

once i was told my coochie got too wet during sex... excuse me??? sorry steak too juicy? lobster too buttery!?

@MsJazzybelle Not only this but she cannot style these clothes for shit like some of the pieces were fine but what she paired them with was not it

Perfect example of buying what’s on the model’s body, instead of buying for YOUR body type

I am a friend to all cats, even the little mean ones. They have their reasons

@justasnidge They don’t know he fathered all their fav k rappers

EXTREMELY funny album release moment to invite creative comparison

@intrvrtdintrvrt I say “damn this wind is something else” but that’s very southern/appalachian coded in the way it undersells how severe it is lmao

genuine question for english speakers: is there a way to say that its really fucking windy, violently windy like an idiom or a fixed phrase of some kind? something for when you go outside and want to complain

Very formative viewing experience for me btw

Watching Primate and sorry but why didn’t Lucy just try to guide Ben back in his enclosure when he was still kinda listening to her lmfao also rabid animals don’t have complex thought like this they just on autopilot

Told the MA at my doctor appt I went off my birth control and she said “be careful” I said oh no like I’m trying to have a child. She said “oh so be not careful, like, a lot!” Lmfaooo

Just saw someone insult a beautiful a woman by saying she has a short torso… I am also a beautiful woman with a short torso…

6 hours into an 11 hour flight my seat won’t stay reclined ((there’s nobody behind us)) and the screen in front of me won’t work and I can’t sleep and I’m hangry

Going back to USA :( sad

@laracroftbarbie @katya_zamo @trixiemattel So proud of them for finding peace again through our lord and savior!

these two beautiful young women who just graduated from nursing school came to my meet and greet last night! they told me their life story: how their husbands had died on a fishing trip and how they were born again christians. you never know who you're going to meet on tour ❤️

@beyoncegarden Picked him up by his snoochie (snow coochie)

THIS NEW ANGLE IS TAKING ME OUT LMFAOOO😭😭😭

The way I’m sitting in an airport trying not to scream over this lmfao

In the jacuzzi and husband is watching no neck Ed from 90 day fiancée cringe moments compilation

you think you were written by hozier because you like forests and folk-type music. I KNOW I was written by hozier because I'm horny and depressed and I love to lie

How your message finds me at the Ancient Agora in Athens

Daniel Ings got the HOTD script in his email and said computer make this guy gay and horny