steeb hairington

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@Outkast @Leah_Frantz8 Y'all didn't have to go THAT hard on that song, btw.

❄️

Am I crying bc my grandparents went to sleep 6 hours ago but I can’t sleep and I know they’re going to be up in a few hours needing stuff but I’m too tired already and I know whatever sleep I get isn’t going to be enough so I’m crying for tomorrow and today? Yes.

still alive

Who is Garrett Watts and why does YouTube want me to watch him staying in a hospital with ghosties so bad? I can’t remember the last time I’ve been pushed a video so hard in my life.

@CashApp $OliviaLanae <3

Cash App Wisdom: 04 — a thread

@shanemadej @ConanOBrien @MattGourley I'll second that.

@milesbon I'm ready for that piping hot plate of regret.

plz dine at my new restaurant it is very fancy

When I was in high school, Texas wanted to leave the United States. Does anyone else remember this or am I fever dreaming?

I might be a piece of shit but I’ve never been the kind of piece of shit that would cut their nails into sharks teeth to rip the flesh of their classmates. And that’s on god.

When Danny Phantom is trending, but it's for a Smash Bros knockoff instead of a reboot:

Except @RepKatiePorter. She’s proven time and time again that she knows exactly what she’s talking about and the country she’s fighting for. She’s the only one that could get an A.

I would really like every senator and congressperson to take a high school American history exam and just see the scores. I don’t have to know the particular answers they missed, just the score. Because high school says a 60% isn’t good enough and I am certain they’ll all fail.

Back before I fucked it all up. Who would’ve thought I’d end up here?

@hankgreen Relief.

Is there a name for the giant fart you have after leaving a party?

@dakotaz Leave that thing in the sewers

And then you also have to tweet about it because you have literally zero people in your life?

Do you ever just realize you’re actually not good at being human so you have to have a breakdown and cry about it?

The people who can rp with someone for 8 hours straight and then just disconnect like I didn’t just spend an entire shift writing with you are the kind of people I want to punch in the throat.

Everyone’s mad that I won’t get my license but like… I’ll either drive off a cliff or drive in a random direction and never come back so like… either you want me here or you want me gone. I don’t need to pay 30 bucks for a piece of plastic to decide my fate.