Mike Holmes

A comedian’s job isn’t to make their audience feel safe. A comedian’s job is to get their ride share passengers home safely.

Here’s how much I listened in 2024. My biggest day was August 23 with 562 minutes. You? #SpotifyWrapped j open.spotify.com/wrapped/share/…

New episode with @holmesjokes is up now! This one explores the dark underbelly of mental health in comedy and we talk about golf! Please listen/rate/review!!! open.spotify.com/episode/3EeXEz…

@scott_bowser This is still one of the best things ever: youtube.com/watch?v=N1hmrc…

Man RIP Sam Rubin not only was he great on KTLA but his radio show was awesome too. Very big loss to local LA media. My condolences to those that knew him and all his fans.

@NUCLRGOLF @livgolf_league He’s right about the teams! Everyone I know always wants to talk about their favorite LIV golf team. It’s like, “Guys! Give it a rest! Can we please talk about something else?!” Personally, I’m buckling up for 5-10 years of intense and passionate LIV golf team talk!

🚨🙌⛳️ #BETTER THAN EVER — LIV Golf & YouTube star Bryson DeChambeau on the future of @livgolf_league: “Wow. The future of LIV. We know it's going to be here, bigger, badder and better than ever before. It's just going to continue to keep growing over the next five to ten years. Where I see it heading, I think there may be an opportunity for this to be just, from an audience perspective even bigger. You're going to see a lot more interactions from teams. I think the competition between the teams will get heightened. The rivalries will get heightened. There's already some sort of rivalries going on right now, but as the years go on and people are going to win championships, that team championship at the end of the year last year like the @Crushers_GC did, I think there's going to be a lot of rivalries to be produced that you'll see, and it's stories to be told I think will be pretty insane over the next five to ten years.”

Now that the eclipse is over @cnn will return to its regular programming where the sky is just falling.

It’s gonna be such a chill Tuesday at the eclipse glasses manufacturing plant.

Now all the astronomers will go linger near the exits and hope someone tells them that they had a good eclipse.

She’ll still be Caitlin from State Farm to me.

Really looking forward to Sunday’s final. Does anyone know what time the controversial call is scheduled for?

I’m tired of people pretending like women’s basketball existed before Caitlin Clark. All of the “records” she “broke” were put there by God along with the dinosaur bones to test our faith.

@Joe_Hugen It’s the best arena Muscatine tire retreading money can buy. I’ve been paying attention longer than I care to remember.

@holmesjokes So you have been paying attention. Even knew the name of the arena. Impressed.

Lisa not wining the Coach of the Year is asinine. Best way for this to be rectified is for Iowa to take UConn & USC out and win a National Championship. Lisa Bluder is America's Coach.

@Joe_Hugen Do they give out Arena of the Year awards, too? They should definitely give that to Carver, too. Everyone definitely showed up there this year for the arena itself.

@Joe_Hugen Right, all there for the coach. Everyone America can’t stop talking about the coach.

Hopefully someone writes a book about the time that LA comedians decided that taking pictures of the comics after the show was just as important as the actual comedy show itself. Such a great time for art (photography).

The refs have never once ruined golf. Don’t tell me golf is boring. Listening to basketball and football fans endlessly complaining about the refs is Groundhog Day level boredom.

The world would be a better place if the comments were turned off on everything.

Any time a product instructs me to store it in a cool, dry place I take it straight to the Mos Eisley Cantina.

The three most popular amateur sports in Iowa right now are pickleball, golf, and getting deeply and personally offended if Caitlin Clark isn’t exulted with the highest forms of praise imaginable.