Funny Things

I don't wanna go to school. I wanna go to concerts.

My girlfriend wanted a serious relationship. Now we don't smile at each other.

i really need a day between saturday and sunday

I can never open a snapchat that's a video if people are around, I don't trust my friends at all....

Girls are 17 looking 23, You can never tell their age nowadays. Bitch smile real quick, lemme check for baby teeth.

No one appreciates how sassy this whale emoji is

send ur bf booty pics before u go to sleep then watch u wake up to a 5 paragraph goodmorning text in MLA format

why is underwear so expensive like wtf its a sheet of fabric that covers ur dinky doo

names are fuckin weird, like your parents just choose a sound that identifies who you are as a human being for the rest of your life

I sing too much for someone who can't sing.

winter break needs to slow down.

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.

my computer screen is brighter than my future

Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

if i ever tell u that something is my favorite song dont listen to me im a liar i have more favorite songs than there are babies in china

How to play flappy bird: 1. tap2. lose 200 times in a row3. yell4. throw phone across room5. cry

I don't really forgive people I just pretend like it's okay and wait for my opportunity to destroy them.

The best part about not wearing pants is everything.