Bear

Yes, and I'd appreciate it if you'd stop being so judgy, Chase.

The "gay frogs cause chemtrails of 5G" crowd suddenly doesn't believe in conspiracies...

@newjasonhorn I need these

Getting more sets of the cards ready. I’ll announce how to buy them in the next few days!

Just posting this #withmydick to keep the streak alive

Remember to keep your outfit more "July 4th" than "January 6th" today #4thofJuly

This is that Jordan Sparks weather #Chicago #AirQuality

Your bumper sticker that says "Flirt" says you're easy, but the bird shit on your back window says you're dirty.

Don't talk to me until I've had my baba #toddler #toddlerlife instagram.com/p/Cpp-stkrcAI/…

I don't know how excited a 40 year old should be getting at making shots playing beer pong in a suburban strip mall bar on a Tuesday, but I guarantee this guy who looks like he ate a powdered donut with his whole face is WAY over the limit.

How a #toddler enjoys the #superbowl instagram.com/p/ColuqmotQOW/…

Swordplay and speaking in tongues for Jesus…

Oh good, the guy that plays his own version of Creed's greatest hits is here and pumped the jukebox full of money

sko𝑳

Been making all kinds of cookies and treats today to give to family members tomorrow #withmydick

I'm impressed how much I've already shit today #withmydick

*shares picture of themselves wearing a weird hat at work from 9 years ago "OMG we were so WILD back then!!"

I like sneezing when I'm on the toilet because it's a little treat for my butthole when I can tell it to "take a break, sit this sneeze out, we'll take it from here" and then ruin the toilet bowl.

@ImMatElfring if the energy goes down because people need a nap, just pick it up pick it up

Is this going to be my last tweet before this app dies?

I’m going to start calling my testicles "horses." That way when anyone says "Hold your horses" I’ll have something fun to do.