Brandon LT

The perfect wall light doesn’t exi-

I’m a celeb doesn’t quite feel right being on in April 😂 #ImACeleb

Fuel prices so high you can’t even drive around to clear ya mind anymore

Real ones remember these..

Do they drive the cars into shopping centres or are they born there

Those paper towels at petrol stations are for you to wipe away your tears.

Had my car towed today. Nothing wrong with it, just cheaper than buying fuel.

I bet people with electric cars are laughing at fuel prices

If your friend hasn't seen you in the worst drunk state of your life are they even your friend

No one warned me that once I got older, the weather app would be a crucial part of my daily routine.

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favourite hob on the oven. No one ever talks about it, but you know you have one…

If you saw your best mate on Crimewatch and the reward money was £20,000 where would you go for your holiday

So you want me to be healthy but mango is £2 whilst a bueno is 75p, what do you expect me to do

My mate loves telling people he drives a £400k vehicle and gets paid to travel. He’s a bus driver.

If I ever win the lottery, I'm gonna go to the supermarket and not even look at the prices.

Vodka annoys me off, it doesn't feel like it does anything, you drink a bit more and 30 mins later you’re collapsed in the corner of the room

From February 28th, the sun wont set before 6pm again until late October. We made it!

Mad when someone holds like 3 doors in a row for ya n you've gotta change up your way of thanking them each time. "Thanks, cheers, nice one"

I still write handwritten shopping lists on paper. Then I play this great game where I leave the list sitting on the kitchen counter & try to GUESS what was on it from 5 miles away at the supermarket.

Have you ever gotten road rage walking behind someone moving slowly at a supermarket?